Bob Downe in a blue tie? Maybe blue tie-dye.
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"I've been trying to find a blue tie but the shops are all out of them. I'll have to make one out of a napkin," he said in an exclusive interview from a payphone in downtown Murwillumbah.
The Prince of Polyester returns to the Great Hall of Parliament House on Wednesday night to host the Federal Parliamentary Press Gallery Midwinter Ball.
He last did the gig in 2008 when Kevin Rudd was prime minister.
"The difference between June 2008 and June 2013, well it just goes to show you can never predict the future. Good Lord," Downe said.
"But what's so interesting is that like 2008, it's all about Kevin!"
As the long-time host of TV show Good Morning Mur-willumbah and a former cadet on The Murwillum-bah Irrigator, Downe feels entirely comfortable in a room full of hard-hitting journalists.
"I feel very qualified to be there. These are my peers," he said.
So what does Downe make of shock jock Howard Sattler asking Prime Minister Julian Gillard if her partner Tim was gay?
"I think Howard's gay. I'm not sure but I've always wondered he might be. Julia should have said, "Why do you fancy him?'," he said.
The midwinter ball's auction items are always interesting with Gillard offering dinner at the Lodge or Kirribilli House and Opposition Leader Tony Abbott suggesting a "power cycle" followed by breakfast.
Does Downe think he could handle a power cycle?
"Absolutely. Though I think he'd leave me at the block. My bike has to have a skirt protector and a basket at the front or I'm just not interested," he said.
But what he really wants is the scarf knitted by Gillard.
"I'll frame it".
And his favourite politician? None other than that shrinking violet, Liberal Member for Sturt, Christopher Pyne.
"We're really good friends but I can never get a word in edge-wise," Downe said.
Downe says he has no other shows pencilled in for Canberra. But that could change.
"If they put me up at the portrait gallery, than yes," he said.
And ensuring that his hair doesn't get to close to the burner, Downe says he will be travelling to Canberra on the Skywhale.
"They've sold it to Tiger Airways and they're doing the Canberra-Sydney run. It's faster than the XPT," he said.
* To bid on the auction items, go to http://www.midwinterball.com.au/