Samantha's relationship
''A few years into our relationship, my husband decided I needed to go to uni. He then said I couldn't go the night before I was to start. Seven years after that my husband told me I had to go to uni. This time I did and even though I felt he kept trying to make me fail, I completed a bachelor of commerce with a triple major. However, I never had a career as such despite a strong work ethic. As soon as I started to do well, my husband changed his mind about his path and I was made to stop and follow along.
Although there had always been physical abuse, I now recognise the extent of other types that was inflicted on me.
For instance, I was never allowed a credit card or bank account. I wasn't allowed friends or phone calls. I wasn't allowed to go out. I was put down constantly. I was made to stand on a tile for often over an hour and explain why something was not to his liking. My problem was that I didn't see it for what it was. And I was in an extremely violent situation before I realised it.''
Shefali's relationship
''It's after he left that I'd think 'my God, when was the last time that I listened to my own music?' I never did. I was too busy doing everything that he wanted to do. Through the counselling by the Domestic Violence Crisis Centre when he pulled out the phone, I didn't realise how bad I felt. I just felt so frightened. I mean, he wouldn't leave. He was outside and he was threatening to come back in and what do I do now? It wasn't until after I kept thinking and talking about it to all the counsellors that I realised, 'my God, he's been telling me I'm the bossy one; that I'm the one who's controlling him', but it wasn't. It was him controlling me the whole time. I never saw it.''
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