The 29-year-old man, who cannot be named, has gone on trial in the ACT Supreme Court on three counts of sexual intercourse without consent allegedly committed against his wife in 2012.

The couple first got together when they were 17, separated, then got back together, married and had a son in 2011.

The woman said in recorded evidence that in mid-2012, she woke to find her husband performing oral sex on her. She said she told him the next day that it was strange, but says it happened twice more.

She said that in September 2012, she woke to find his arms wrapped around her tightly and her underwear removed. She said he was trying to force sex upon her, something she described as ''extremely painful''.

The woman said her husband raped her before leaving the room.

''I just sat there for a while. I was in shock, I didn't know what to do,'' she said. ''Eventually I just cried myself to sleep.''

The woman said the next morning she confronted him, telling him what he had done was rape.

She said he replied: ''It's not rape, we're married. Don't be silly.''

The woman didn't leave the home until later that month after attending her sister-in-law's hens' night and wedding, as well as a pole-dancing competition.

Defence barrister Philip Dunn, QC, used his opening submission to try to cast doubt on the woman's story. He said the complaint was not made to police until November that year after the woman was told her husband had started legal proceedings to allow him to see the couple's son, whom she had taken interstate.

Mr Dunn said she had mentioned that she was sexually assaulted to her lawyers, who said it was difficult to prove without evidence on Facebook or messages. He said she subsequently sent a text message to her husband saying he had tried to rape her in the past.

The husband mentioned the message to her mother, saying something like: ''I can look you in the eyes and tell you honestly, I've never tried to rape your daughter.''

The jury trial continues on Thursday before Justice Hilary Penfold.