Jerrabomberra mum Melissa Agius likes to feed her nine-week-old daughter Loralei underneath a wall of photographs of her older daughter Alexis - Loralei's big sister.
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"Sometimes Loralei will look up and smile at her," Melissa said.
Alexis - Lexie - died in her sleep on March 20 last year. She was just six days short of turning nine months.
The little girl with the "amazing eyes" and hair so long she could have pigtails had suffered a brain injury just days before her birth and her family knew she was living on borrowed time.
One of the photographs on the wall is of Melissa cradling Alexis on the day before the little girl died. They were at a family get-together for Easter at Fadden Pines. Neither she nor husband Simon had any inkling that day their beloved first daughter was about to die.
It was a loss they are still dealing with. A child they will always treasure.
"We talk about Alexis a lot and we don't want people to forget her," Melissa said.
As Red Nose Day is held on Friday, the family wants to acknowledge the support of Red Nose (formerly ACT SIDS and Kids) for helping them through the death of Alexis. And again through Melissa's pregnancy with Loralei, when she was riddled with anxiety about the possibility of losing another child.
"About two weeks after we lost Alexis, my friend, Jenny Tiffen, who is a SIDS and Kids ambassador contacted me and said, 'Melissa, you're a talker. You need to talk'," Melissa said.
"That's how I met Jocelyn [Weis, a Red Nose bereavement counsellor]. She gave me strategies on how to cope, how to get back to work, how to deal with people asking questions.
"She got us through some dark times."
Melissa still meets regularly with Jocelyn for counselling. She said there was a common misconception Red Nose was a support service only for families who have lost their children through SIDS, but the organisation was there for anyone who has suffered the sudden death of a baby or child or suffered a miscarriage.
"Just day in, day out, they go above and beyond," Melissa said.
Alexis was born on June 24, 2015 with complications including cerebral palsy. It had been a normal pregnancy. It's believed she suffered a brain injury in-utero seven to 10 days before she was born.
She underwent treatment at the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at the Canberra Hospital and was then taken home to die, placed on a palliative care program.
"We were told if she was still here in six weeks it would be a miracle," Melissa said.
The little girl did much more than that, delighting and embracing her family for nearly nine months. Her big brothers Patrick, seven, and Joseph, four, doted on her.
Her mum has no doubt what sustained Alexis.
"I think love, honestly," she said.
"Even the NICU consultant said afterwards that love kept her alive because she shouldn't have been here."
Red Nose and Jocelyn were there again for Melissa when she became pregnant with Loralei and was stricken with fear she could also lose her. She was induced two weeks early, with the NICU doctors present for the delivery. Loralei was found, like Alexis, to have a "true knot" in her umbilical cord. But this time, Loralei was completely healthy. Yet those early days were still full of fear.
"My oldest son, when he went off to school, would ask, 'Is the baby going to die today?'," Melissa said.
Again, the medical community and Red Nose helped the family understand and cope with their feelings of loss. To remember that Alexis is always part of their family of four children; not three.
"She was stubborn, definitely stubborn," Melissa said, with a smile, speaking about Alexis. "She loved being cuddled. Loved being held.
"She drew so many people in. Even now, she still does."
Volunteers will be out in force on Friday selling Red Nose Day products which help fund counselling services and research into the causes and prevention of childhood deaths.
For more details go to https://rednoseday.com.au/
