Jonathan Crowley's existence is as bleak as his tiny room in a Sydney care home.
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Pressure sores have confined the police shooting victim to his bed, while he awaits an agreement to be struck so he can return to Canberra.
His sister has stuck pictures, snipped from an old calendar, to the wall to lighten the dreary lodgings.
But the few bright moments cannot lift Mr Crowley's spirits after months of frustration.
In the past 12 years, since a police bullet sliced through his spinal cord, Mr Crowley has been slowly stripped of his health, millions in compensation, and now his home and family.
What was meant to be a short stay in Sydney for surgery has turned into a seven-month nightmare.
Mr Crowley was made a quadriplegic by the police bullet 12 years ago, leaving him with ongoing health issues and in need of round-the-clock care.
He managed to maintain a small level of independence while in Canberra, living on his own with the help of his parents and a care team.
But those care arrangements lapsed when he went to Sydney last year.
The surgery was postponed at the last minute and he has been unable to return to his Chapman home because he cannot find carers in Canberra.
To add to his troubles, Mr Crowley has developed a pressure sore from his wheelchair, meaning he can only leave his bed every two days until the wound heals.
He spent the 12th anniversary of the shooting and the holidays laid out and often alone.
Mr Crowley would see his parents and family most days when he was in Canberra, but the distance now means he receives only sporadic visits.
Instead of enjoying the summer with his family in his home town, he spends his days bedridden, competing for attention from overworked staff at the facility.
Mr Crowley's care is paid for through Disability ACT, but he says the package is not enough.
He believes he can return to Canberra if an extra $30,000 is added to his funding.
''If I had the money I would be able to get the carers,'' Mr Crowley said. ''It's a real nightmare.''
Mr Crowley has been reduced to begging for money from a government that pursued him through the courts during a decade-long battle for compensation.
He was in the grips of a psychotic episode in December 2001 when he walked through Chapman chanting religious slogans and holding a kendo stick.
Police shot him in the neck after attempts to subdue him with capsicum spray failed.
Tragically, the day before the shooting an ACT Mental Health psychologist had recommended that he receive hospital treatment.
Mr Crowley sued the Australian Federal Police, the officer who shot him and ACT Mental Health.
He won $8 million in May 2011 after an ACT Supreme Court judge found duty of care had been breached by both Mental Health and the AFP. But the ACT Court of Appeal struck out that decision in December 2012.
In June, his compensation battle ended when the High Court refused him special leave to appeal the decision to strip him of the payout.
His father, Keith Crowley, is negotiating with two agencies to split the work so his son can return to Canberra.
''It's costly for someone like him to live on his own,'' Keith Crowley said. ''That's why we needed the $8 million. If he had the payout he'd be at home now.''
A government spokesman said Mr Crowley was one of about 230 people in the ACT receiving individualised funding through Disability ACT.
''The individualised support package policy indicates a maximum value of $125,000, set in 2006-07. Indexed, this is about $155,000 today,'' the spokesman said.
''There are, however, about 10 people with very high support requirements, who, in response to their variable needs throughout the year, exceed this level.
''Disability ACT works with these individuals and their supports to reduce their funding requirements to a sustainable level.''