The chairwoman of the ACT Domestic Violence Crisis Service, Dianne Lucas, said she first read the think-piece when a friend posted a link on Facebook.

''We really welcome men speaking out about this issue,'' Ms Lucas said. ''The thing about violence against women is that if you think it's only a monster who perpetrates it, that can be quite a comforting thought.

''It means it's rare and we don't have to do anything about it. But that's not true - it's not a monster who's doing it, it's your average Joe in your average street.''

Mr Meagher wrote his essay for White Ribbon Ireland. He described his shock at realising the killer, Adrian Bayley, was not a monster or a madman, but a normal-seeming person.

''I had formed an image that this man was not human, that he existed as a singular force of pure evil who somehow emerged from the ether,'' Mr Meagher wrote.

''By insulating myself with the intellectually evasive dismissal of violent men as psychotic or sociopathic aberrations, I self-comforted by avoiding the more terrifying concept that violent men are socialised by the ingrained sexism and entrenched masculinity that permeates everything from our daily interactions all the way up to our highest institutions.''

Canberra is suffering its own burden of violence against women, with reports of domestic violence up by almost 50 per cent over the past five years.

White Ribbon ambassador Dr Michael Flood, senior lecturer at the University of Wollongong, said non-violent men could not turn a blind eye any longer.

''This is every man's problem because whether or not they use violence, the women and girls they know will likely suffer harm or abuse at some time in their lives.''

■ If you or someone you know is experiencing violence you can call 1800 737 732 for advice or support or call the Domestic Violence Crisis Service ACT 24-hour crisis line on 6280 0900. In an emergency, call 000.

Tom Meagher's essay was published by White Ribbon Ireland.