One "expert" believes aliens are responsible for the Great Olive Heist from the trial planting site at Exhibition Park. Maybe it makes sense: who or what else could bypass a security fence and take every single olive? Spooky. The news was portentous considering the week to come ...

Aliens might have been the prime suspects, but was it suspicious that Prime Minister Kevin Rudd left for Japan at the same time? Why else would he go to Japan? Did he really want to talk whaling, when he now lives in the marsupial-culling capital of the world? So many questions.

Suspicion also falls on Labor identities John Della Bosca and Belinda Neal, who plead that they were in Gosford at the time, having a quiet dinner with friends.

Tuesday

The R word - recession, not religion - rears its ugly head in connection with the rising cost of petrol. The argument runs that it might be necessary to destroy the economy in order to save it from high oil prices. That might make sense to an economist, but try telling it to someone who could lose their job; not that they could afford the petrol to get to work anyway. Might as well blame aliens, or Woy Woy's power couple, for driving up petrol prices - to many people it makes just as much sense.

Wednesday

Toyota announces it will build petrol-electric hybrid Camrys in Melbourne. With the Camry Crow, as it will be known here and internationally, you can afford the petrol to get to the job you no longer have, thanks to the recession we had to have (ah, memories) to drive down petrol prices. And cheaper petrol prices, combined with a recession, and the car's name, means no one buys the Crow, which gets Belinda Neal really angry, despite the counselling. It all comes together in another of those virtuous crop circles aliens are renowned for. Had to get aliens in there somewhere. Shall we move on?