AND just like that, he was gone.
The show was over.
A decade's worth of "Will he? Won't he? Wouldn't you like to know?" - all crumbled away to nothing, with the publication of a small statement on the Peter Costello website, the mere fact of whose creation was viewed last month as a piece of strategic flirtation by the unofficial Shadow Minister for Strategic Flirtation.
With that statement, the greatest hypothetical in Australian politics was over.
Peter Costello will remain a successful former treasurer, and nothing more.
Malcolm Turnbull looked like a man emerging from a migraine.
He floated into question time looking beatific, as if he had never seen the Speaker look so curiously benevolent, or the public gallery so full of life and promise.
A little smile played about the Opposition Leader's lips as - with the exuberant air of a man shouting a packed front bar - he asked the Speaker for indulgence to make a short statement.
For months, Malcolm Turnbull has been loath even to mention Peter Costello's name.
But at the dispatch box yesterday, it came out in a great flood of relief - his respect for the member for Higgins, his admiration for the man's parliamentary service, and so on.
How odd the rivalry between these two has been; this nebulous bout of shadow boxing that has lasted from Turnbull's leadership ballot last September right up until yesterday.
In one corner, a man who has never known political patience. In the other, a man with what seems to be a chronic oversupply.
Costello's decision was a surprise, as usual; is there any other politician whose real intentions are so opaque, even to close friends?
Kevin Rudd offered a tribute to follow Turnbull's and it was very gracious, even if it did start to sound a tiny bit like a tribute to the Rudd Government by about the halfway mark.
No matter! Warm regards were the order of the day.
Only the member for Higgins himself was honest enough to strike a waspish note in acknowledgment of the blandishments by Rudd and Turnbull, his two biggest enemies in Parliament.
"It is possible that both sides of the dispatch box will be happy with the decision that I have made," he grinned.
Mr Costello will find it difficult to move on from politics.
And politics will find it difficult to move on from him.
What will ministers have to tease Malcolm Turnbull about in question time now? A small spike in unemployment is predicted, based on the redundancy of the camera crews that were wont to follow Costello around as he shopped, jogged, and showily minded his own business.
Months from now, Canberra bureau chiefs - compiling their morning news lists - will still pause and scratch their heads, thinking: "Have I missed something? I'm sure there was something else."
But there won't be something else - not any more. Costello Watch is over - gone the way of Fuel Watch and Grocery Watch.
This blog was first published on smh.com
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