So you think you're the sort of person who doesn't get sucked into reality television shows (despite a secret weakness for Australian Idol, but that was years ago).
What, then, makes a particularly odious and silly reality program so riveting?
The show is Beauty and the Geek and the stage is set with 10 outstandingly dorky "geeks" and 12 "beauties", women who have lots of plastic parts but are unlikely to join Mensa any time soon.
Perhaps its appeal is schadenfreude - watching these girls bounce around definitely makes one feel intelligent by comparison, likewise watching the geeks makes one feel popular and well adjusted.
But, memories of high school tell you that geeks don't go for girls like that. This may be because they feel such girls are out of their league or because they feel intimidated, but it's also because in a girl who has nothing to offer but her looks they find little to like. What, in a long-term relationship, would a beauty and a geek talk about? Wouldn't the ones on the show be mutually unintelligible?
Yes, these women have certain physical charms - the show seems to define "beauty" more in the mould of Malibu Barbie than Miranda Kerr and so a chest that enters the room before you do is an asset.
"I spent $8000 [more than AU$12,000] on my breasts," a beauty says. "And I'm proud of that."
Billed as "a social experiment", the show is, of course, an exercise in ridicule. The beauties are made out to be astonishingly and impressively dim-witted.
If north is to your right, point west.
"Up," one says, gesturing.
Who wrote Beethoven's Fifth?
"Um, Mozart?"
Name as many countries as you can in alphabetical order.
"Arkansas ... Boston ..."
Similarly, the geeks are clueless when answering questions about things other than astrophysics. Asked, "what's a corsage?", one describes a corset. And in "test" of their social skills, they are each made to greet a mannequin as if she were their girlfriend.
At this point, the viewer hopes the doll gets wiped down between takes. In a bid to prove they are passionate and know how to handle the opposite sex, some geeks enthusiastically make out with the mannequin.
Women with a nasty attitude towards geeks get weeded out during the audition phase.
A would-be female contestant sent in a tape of herself commanding her dog to do simple tricks.
She looked at the camera and said, "If I can teach a dog to do that, I can teach a geek to be popular."
She may look extraordinary, but what man would put up with that?
The trouble is, the men themselves seem to have similarly low opinions of themselves.
"I can't imagine anyone every wanting me," one says. Others laugh sadly when asked what it is about women's bodies they like best, or if they have ever been kissed.
They can't see that they have a lot to offer and it's really the beauties who have nothing.
Beauty and the Geek screens on Prime on Thursday evenings.