''I ADMIT I'm not a writer,'' Gina Rinehart says in the introduction to her new tome Northern Australia and then some.
Having read the book, CBD can't fault her judgment.
Indeed, while it features her name on the cover - and close to 70 pictures of Australia's richest person inside - much of the book isn't even written by Rinehart.
There are contributions from a cavalcade of luminaries, including adman John Singleton, Peabody Energy boss Greg Boyce and loyal lieutenant Tad Watroba, come to pay tribute to Her Roy Hill Highness.
There's even a guest appearance from Queen Elizabeth II, snapped meeting Rinehart.
However, the book is probably most interesting for what - and who - is not in it.
Her children John Hancock, Bianca Rinehart and Hope Welker are largely invisible, and nor is there any mention of the legal battle she is waging against them over a multibillion-dollar family trust.
But just as the Soviets, for all their diligent airbrushing of history books, couldn't quite erase all memory of disobedient party apparatchiks, so here there linger a few traces of the disloyal Rinehart offspring.
Hope is briefly mentioned because she designed Hancock Prospecting's flag, and there's an uncaptioned picture that looks like it might be of John.
Completely absent, however, is any mention of the Aboriginal love children Rinehart's beloved father, Lang Hancock, allegedly fathered - or of Hancock's view that unemployed Aboriginal people should be rounded up and sterilised.
Nor could CBD find any words about an ongoing stoush with the Wright family in which Hancock Prospecting has been forced to give up its 25 per cent stake in the potentially lucrative Rhodes Ridge project.
Before getting into the ''changes we need to make our country rich'' promised by its coverline, the book tantalises and teases with a foreword, written by Indian businessman Dr GVK Reddy, a preface by editor Eden F. Cox, a preamble from the man who is co-chair of Rinehart's lobby group Australians for Northern Development and Economic Vision, Imants Kins, and that introduction from Rinehart herself.
Those who read on will discover that much of the material is recycled from old Rinehart speeches and her columns in Australian Resources and Investment magazine.
The pages are packed with her now-familiar calls for lower taxes, lower wages and a special economic zone in northern Australia.
Nonetheless, the tome will set you back a cool $35.
So while she may claim not to be much of a writer, the book proves - yet again - her business acumen.
SHE'S also Australia's best poet who happens to be a billionaire.
Once more it's Rinehart's time to rhyme, with the new book delivering two fresh sonnets.
The two previously unknown pieces, dedicated to thieving peanut farmer Sir Joh Bjelke-Petersen and Indian businessman Dr GVK Reddy, add to a canon of Rinehart rhyme previously populated by a single known specimen, an ode to setting up that ''special economic zone'' in Australia's north.
No boring old iambic pentameter for this poetaster of the Pilbara - in Rinehart's hands, lines are as long as she wants them to be.
Check how much is iambed into this 13 syllable-16 syllable combo in her tribute to Bjelke-Petersen:
''A lovely lass named Florence in Brisbane caught your eye,
''In 1952 you married and your love will never die.''
(Unlike Joh, who was sent to his infernal reward in 2005.)
And how about this pair of 15-syllable lines, which is at odds with the known facts of Sir Joh's life: ''You spread decency and honour, pride in family and Queen,
''And when others wavered from their path, your conscience remained clean.''
SO MUCH for Rinehart the empress; now CBD must tell of Rinehart the statistician:
■ Pictures of the author: 68
■ Pictures of Lang Hancock: 19
■ Pictures of Tad Watroba: 9
■ Pictures of daughter she is not fighting in court, Ginia Rinehart: 3
■ Pictures of John Hancock: 1 (uncaptioned)
■ Blurry uncaptioned pictures that might be of Bianca Rinehart: 1
■ Blurry uncaptioned pictures that might not be of Bianca Rinehart: 1
■ Pictures of Hope Welker: 0
■ Mentions of Welker in text: 2
■ Mentions of Welker not related to her having designed the Hancock Prospecting flag: 0
■ Pictures of corrupt former Queensland premier Sir Joh Bjelke-Petersen: 3
■ References in poem about Bjelke-Petersen to his conscience remaining clean: 1
■ Mentions of the fact Bjelke-Petersen was charged with perjury: 0
■ Pictures of Resources Minister Martin Ferguson: 2
■ Pictures of Herald Sun columnist and TV host Andrew Bolt: 0
■ Transcripts of Bolt's TV show: 2
■ Pictures of Rhodes Ridge tenement, to which Rinehart lost rights in 2010: 3
■ Longest line in poem for Dr GVK Reddy, in syllables: 20
■ Amount CBD paid for a collection of largely recycled material, in dollars: 35
Got a tip? firstname.lastname@example.org