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Putting in the Slipper

Peter Slipper stepping down as Speaker of the House has hurt Labor federally.

Peter Slipper stepping down as Speaker of the House has hurt Labor federally. Photo: Gary Ramage

The Hon. Mr Speaker is, as they say, cactus. No more presumptions of innocence or letting due process run its course for Slippery Pete. We've now moved on to the rats and sinking ship phase of proceedings.

It won't matter if the Australian Federal Police blow off the allegations that he rorted his cab charges, or if some hairy legged tribunal sifts through his text messages and brings in a verdict of ‘move along now, nothing to see here’.

The race is on to see which of the major parties can quickly put the greatest distance between themselves and the Speaker, both having been badly sprung snuggling up to Slippery Pete even though, you know... eeew!

The visual metaphor I'm searching for is Anthony Albanese, pants off and tackle out, one leg slung over a windowsill, closing his eyes and leaping with all his might, hoping to land square on top of the Opposition Leader, who is in full flight half way down the garden path without even the restraining influence of a brief pair of budgie smugglers.

It makes an interesting contrast, don't you think, with the government's last-ditch defence of Craig Thomson.

Unfortunately for the PM, Mr Rabbit can lay claim to starting his nudie run from Slipper long before she and her colleagues suddenly decided to exit his presence so quickly their strides were left standing in midair, in a feat of cartoon physics worthy of Wile E Coyote.

It's a dashed bit of bad luck for them, having previously spurned Andrew Wilkie, who now finds himself in the role of the once rejected, but now suddenly attractive former suitor.

One can but wonder who, if anyone, he will get into bed with after this jolly romp. Nobody, if he's smart.

On the other hand, when looking for love, the government seems to have even more limited options than Cardinal Pell at a Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence key party. Perhaps it's time to… actually, perhaps it's time to just give up on this metaphor completely.

Allow me to exaggerate. The Gillard government is doing itself more damage than Abbott could ever hope to hand them. I'm not talking specifically about the Peter Slipper fiasco here. I'm talking about everything. Pretty much every decision they have made, every action they have taken since they scraped back into power last time, or arguably since they cut down Kevin Rudd, has been calculated to lower not just the standing of the government of the day, but the standing of the party for a generation. Hmm, I know that was exaggeration, and yet it didn't feel like it.

It's getting to a point where the best thing Julia Gillard could do for the Labor movement is pull the trigger on an election, lead the party to an epic defeat, and stand aside to let the rebuilding era begin. Assuming she hasn't been plowed under herself in the massacre that's coming.

148 comments so far

  • Wait, when did the Brisbane Times get bought out by Rupert Murdoch? Or were you mugged and brain damaged by an attack dog?

    Date and time
    April 24, 2012, 6:12AM
    • A Glove slap across the face, and a boot up the a$$, and don't come back till you've learnt some common sense..... <insert fist shake here>

      Date and time
      April 24, 2012, 7:25AM
    • @ Fozbungle

      Nup, it's just Blunt goin' ballistic at the buffoons we otherwise call pollies.

      That said, most Australian media has followed the Murdoch Mantra - where audience = profit, so the need for audience justifies any form of journalistic trickery; typically sensationalism &/or far right reaction. Blunt just (normally) does it with a bit of panache.

      - - -

      Many years ago I noted that when journalists are sent to an event, the event gets reported in the news - irrespective of newsworthiness.

      I suggest the same occurs in Canberra. The journo's have to file a report - anything - for the daily news grind. If it is not political decision-making, it's the colour of the tracksuit some pollie is wearing, or ...

      They'll all move on to something different next week, we'll all have gotten over it, and we'll be 'on' to something else.

      Personally, I fail to see how the personal life of some pollie necessarily impacts the Australian political landscape. Maybe the last one of note was the head Femocrat rolling over (sexually and politically).


      Date and time
      April 24, 2012, 8:49AM
    • "every action they have taken ... since they cut down Kevin Rudd, has been calculated to lower not just the standing of the government of the day, but the standing of the party for a generation"
      How is that an exaggeration? I thought it was just true.
      It's what happens when you let Mr. Crean run anything.

      Date and time
      April 24, 2012, 10:44AM
    • Your assumption that Julia Gillard will lose the next election is incorrect. Every person with a sense of humor will vote for the Labor Party to keep the comedy going. She will win easily.

      Date and time
      April 24, 2012, 2:01PM
    • It didn't it got bought out by Gina Swineheart which is a more insidious esult as it no becomes the mouthpiece for mining.

      the beach
      Date and time
      April 25, 2012, 3:40PM
  • Old political saying "Better to be found with a dead hooker, than a live boy"

    Yuppy Central
    Date and time
    April 24, 2012, 6:26AM
    • Say is isnt so!
      Are we all now so burnt out that we'll hand the country over to a Rabbit without a fight????Nothing ecologically sound about that. We know how the first rabbit invasion has worked out.
      BTW, your imagery in this article has scarred me for life, John Birmingham. Dunno how I'm going to get through the day without thinking about Albanese. So very wrong.

      Heading for the Hills
      Date and time
      April 24, 2012, 6:52AM
      • Release the Myxomatosis!

        Release the hounds!

        Release Roger the Robber!

        Release Brian!

        Verily, I say... No rotten Rabbit shall religiously rule the rabble that he might redirect riches to the richest ratbags of the radical right.

        Fortune cookie
        Pilates palace of persecution and posterior punishment
        Date and time
        April 24, 2012, 2:34PM
    • At least Julia's Tea Lady is relieved the Friary Merry-go-Round is on track with its weekly Kamikaze Attack...The Good Lady was due for a spell on The Rack for leaking The Friars Horoscope to the Scribes in Pancho's Bastille-de-Boggo.

      Yippee Yi Yo
      Date and time
      April 24, 2012, 6:56AM

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