In particular, I seek politicians who can talk about solidarity with a group of those who are so often victims of hate, whether they are gay or straight or something else. Whether they are Jewish or Muslim. Whether they are women or men.

Hate should be smothered by love, by acceptance; and our politicians should lead us by speaking up on behalf of those who are the victims of hate.

OK, it's not all I want. But today, hours after the murder of 50 people in a gay nightclub, what I'm looking for is leadership that says we are all sorry and we will all work to promote a culture that promotes peace and tolerance, whether gay or straight or something else. I don't want you to pretend that this is any other kind of terrorism than the one that has existed for ever, gay hate and gay murder. These people were targeted for their sexuality not their religion.

Instead, I got a prime minister who could not, at first, even utter the words to describe those who were murdered: members of the gay and lesbian community of Orlando, Florida.

He made it part of an election campaign but then did not mention until much later the very people who hoped he would be their saviour when it comes to promoting "freedoms that we enjoy".

He caught up later. "This was a murderous attack on gay people in this nightclub. It was clearly directed by a murderous hatred of gay people," Turnbull told reporters later in the day.

But I can't even begin to say how disappointed I am. I was pretty sure that the Prime Minister, who believes in marriage equality, for instance, would emerge as a politician with values on this issue. The Opposition Leader Bill Shorten and his deputy, Tanya Plibersek, made it pretty clear where they stood in a statement on Monday morning.

"These murders are despicable, and cowardly. We condemn them, utterly. Many in the LGBTI community will feel an added layer of pain and a sharper sense of loss in the wake of this tragedy. We stand with you in solidarity."

The leader of the Greens, Richard di Natale, issued a statement early and later amended it to include the LGBTI community. I can't see anything from Team Xenophon or anything from the National Party. Nothing from the raft of crazy part-timers who go into politics to push a barrow or 10. Politicians, the murdered are people. They have families and friends and deserve so much love and support right now.

Instead – and as usual in the weeks before the run-up to an election – the day was filled with promise. Or promises at least. And I found it pretty tough to care much about anything else, except the broken hearts in Orlando.

Chris Neff, a lecturer in public policy at the University of Sydney, with the unusual expertise of both queer politics and mass shootings, was also puzzled by the lack of preparedness by our politicians.

"This happened on Sunday night. We all saw the news. Australian politicians are very sophisticated. We are in a federal election and they are point perfect on their messaging and on their spin. I don't think they make mistakes and I take them at their word.

"But they erased the queerness from the event, during Gay Pride Month, during a Latino night at a gay bar ... and that's the other thing, this was an assault on queer people of colour."

He says: "If you are going to talk about an issue and you are legitimately trying to be empathetic then I do think you have an obligation to know what you are talking about.

"This was not an assault on all freedoms, this was an assault on queer freedoms and on queer identity and this was specifically targeting to kill 50 people who were queer."

There have been quite a few people who have said only gay/lesbian people should speak out about this calamity and those voices should certainly take precedence over anyone else's. But I fear that if we do that, it will permit the kind of identity politics that allows politicians to get away with being cowards. When Jews are murdered, I want the entire universe to stand side by side with me in condemning it, not just other Jews.

As Neff says: "I think everyone should be talking about this, we are all in this together.

"It is understanding that we are talking about systems of oppression and hierarchies of identity, which make queer people good targets to kill, whether those killers are ISIS or homophobes or transphobes," he says.

"I think that mass atrocities raise public fear around the world so I think it is legitimate for politicians to talk about this but it is hypocritical for them to pretend they are depoliticising the issue of a gay hate crime when they have anti-queer policies."

I'm not gay but I'm human. And that's what the victims of the Orlando shootings and the rest of us have in common.

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