Sticking out like sore thumbs: Tony Abbott and Julia Gillard. Photo: Andrew Meares
The beautifully named and exquisitely pronounced French writer Balzac wrote ''the secret of great wealth with no apparent source is some forgotten crime, forgotten because it was done neatly''. This phrase could not apply to the recent dealings of the Obeid family - though the jury is still out and any prosecution, let alone a successful one, is far from guaranteed. There are so many scandals erupting that this venerable paper may need to double in size to report them. The world is turning upside down each and every day. The world news lurches from a form of reality show to an episode of The Simpsons. Absurdity is travelling at exponential speed.
Dennis Rodman - the basketballer with more tattoos per inch than Ruby Rose - turns up in North Korea in an effort to lift the dwindling height and spirits of North Koreans. Suffice it to say that the Opals would wipe the floor with the North Korean men's basketball team.
When the rest of the Western world has long decided that absolute rule by monarchs should give way to the more democratic methods of elections, the Catholic Church maintains that not only should there be a solitary ruler, the Pope, but that on many matters he is infallible. The reports dubbed ''Vatileaks'' included the findings of an investigation by a three-cardinal commission of inquiry headed by Spanish cardinal Julian Herranz Casado. They proved just how fallible 85-year-old Pope Benedict XVI had become. The Pope's butler, Paolo Gabriele, stole and leaked Vatican correspondence that depicted the bitchery and witchery going on under the prominent nose of the pope. The investigation that Benedict launched resulted in the straw that broke the camel's back, and led directly to his decision to resign.
Sex has been rearing its ugly head all over the Catholic world. In Australia, a Royal Commission into paedophilic and inappropriate sexual relationships in the church and other institutions has been launched under the command of Justice Peter McClellan to get to the bottom of things. In Italy, the three-cardinal investigation that toppled the pope revealed gross breaches of God's commandments.
The two-volume report, more than 300 pages long, seemed to suggest that Vatican priests were being manipulated by laymen with whom they had links of a ''worldly nature''. In the ''nod nod, wink wink'' world of Monty Python, this translates as priests may have broken the sixth commandment - strictly only ruling out adultery but by some ironic twist of logic it is turned into an absolute ban on homosexual acts.
Nodding and winking further, it would appear the correctly titled ''laymen'' with whom the priests may have slept, have been blackmailing them and attempting to get them to transfer some of the church's ''great wealth'' to them. As La Repubblica quoted from the cardinals' report: ''Everything revolves around the non-observance of the sixth and seventh commandments.'' The seventh forbids theft.
An early casualty in the rush to Rome by cardinals around the world was former cardinal Keith O'Brien of Scotland, who initially denied reports that he had attempted to seduce young clergymen but later recanted, claiming that his earlier denial was because of the lack of specifics. He could not recall the young clergyman he had put the hard word on. When the young priest persisted, O'Brien made a complete flip and said, ''To those I have offended, I apologise and ask forgiveness.'' The absolute hypocrisy in the church's position is that O'Brien himself was a vigorous fighter against same-sex marriage. That may be an insight into the self loathing that the rigid rules on chastity can give rise to.
The rest of Europe seems to be heading to the enactment of the Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Bill. As Prime Minister David Cameron allowed a conscience vote in the House of Commons, which voted 400 to 175 for the bill, the French National Assembly voted 329 to 229 in support of The Marriage for All Bill. Australian politicians from Julia Gillard to Tony Abbott are sticking out like sore thumbs.
The black cloud of sexual misconduct in the church and the white cloud of equality in same-sex marriage should all coalesce into a perfect storm where gays can marry and priests should marry.
