When I was younger, I'd try and come up with superior compliments to try and prove him wrong.

"You're cooler than Elvis. You're funnier than Elmo," I'd offer. "You're the most beautiful/smartest/bestest person in the world ... "

But I could never compete. Because asking someone to marry you is an all-encompassing, all-star compliment. It's saying to someone, you think they're so amazing, you want to spend the rest of your life with them. And have that officially recognised in front of the people who are most important to you.

It's a day so filled with optimism, warm fuzzy feelings and accomplishment that many people nominate it as one of the happiest in their lives.

It is difficult to think of other life events that see friends and family travel overseas or spend 12 hours straight partying to help you celebrate. It's not just the free booze. Guests get on long-haul flights and give up whole days of their lives for celebrations because we take weddings seriously.

The mind-blowing industry around weddings - the thousands and thousands of dollars people spend on rings, outfits, food, flowers, honeymoons and photos - is a further, monetary indication of the huge place weddings have in our culture.

Unless you're gay. In which case, you get to pay someone the compliment of asking them to be your date at someone else's wedding.

Why are we still here?

A clear majority of Australians have supported marriage equality for years. The Prime Minister is a supporter, as is the Opposition Leader. And it is understood a majority of federal parliamentarians are, too. It would take only a small change to the Marriage Act. It would cost nothing in terms of dollars. It would hurt no one. And benefit a significant group in our community and the ones they love.

Making the change is so simple on paper. And yet getting to the point where gay and lesbian Australians enjoy the same rights as those in countries such as Canada, France, Germany, Ireland, New Zealand, Britain and the United States is tortuously complicated.

Let's start with Malcolm Turnbull. He's a marriage equality backer, but insists Australia needs a plebiscite before Parliament can do the necessaries. This is not because he thinks a plebiscite is a good idea (on the contrary). But this was the position he inherited from Tony Abbott, born out of that 5½ hour special party room meeting in 2015, when a plebiscite was floated by the "no" camp as a delaying tactic.

Then there's Bill Shorten. He's a marriage equality fan, too, but insists a plebiscite is an awful idea and a waste of money (it'll cost about $160 million). So Labor blocked the Coalition's plebiscite bill in Parliament last year, leaving things nicely deadlocked.

This brings us to the news that Liberal backbencher Dean Smith is drafting a private member's bill to legalise same-sex marriage. He wants a free vote for Liberal MPs this year (it's understood it could be as early as August). However, as Turnbull remains wedded to that plebiscite, Smith's bill may require serious procedural manoeuvring with Labor to get it debated. It might even need Liberal MPs to cross the floor.

So don't get your tux dry-cleaned just yet. No fewer than 22 bills on marriage equality or recognising overseas same-sex marriages have been introduced into Federal Parliament since 2004 (when John Howard amended the Marriage Act to specify marriage was between a man and a woman).

Those 22 bills contain a lot of good intentions, a fair bit of individual grandstanding and plenty of fizzles. Only four ever came to a vote, with only one of those votes happening in the House of Representatives, way back in 2012.

Over the years, we've heard lots of arguments about why same-sex marriage can't happen now for political reasons, how other issues are more important, that the process isn't right, how it would make life hard for cake makers, harm the career of politician X and anger members of party Y.

But there is no good excuse for why one part of our community is excluded from one of our most meaningful cultural and personal traditions. And as the debate drags on, it only gets more and more embarrassing for Australia.

Judith Ireland is a Fairfax Media columnist.