Our vending machines define us: Australia loves thongs out of its vending machines as do the Japanese like un-fresh panties by coin or credit card.
Just when you thought the internet was going to take over the world, the vending machines rise. We are our vending machines. There is a stark difference in the cultures of Japan and Australia. One often sees tourists, inside the Galeries Victoria mall on Pitt Street, Sydney, taking photos of a vending machine that serves rubber flip-flops called Havaianas as if it were some exotic beverage. People actually get in line to photograph it, not even just to buy it.
In Tokyo, the locals prefer to use their vending machines to sell used panties from schoolgirls. In Japan, Burusera shops sell girls' used gym suits and school uniforms, with a particular favourite being Catholic schoolgirl uniforms. These shops sell other goods from the same sources; swimsuits, socks, sanitary napkins, saliva and even urine and faeces.
In 2004, the Japanese prefecture cracked down on this perverted schoolgirl Vinnies by restricting purchases and sales of these goods of people under 18. There's obviously still a market for such "adult" products. One thing led to another and schoolgirls didn't even bother to take off their panties off and allowed the customer to sniff directly while still wearing them.
The Australian Greens should promote such recycling efforts as climate-conscious. Japan provided an abuse-friendly atmosphere, where the sexual attraction to young girls is called "lolicon", as in my grandmother's admonition not to take lollies from strangers. The equivalent attraction to young boys is called "shotacon", for reasons only the imagination could fill in. However, the Japanese free trade of child pornography has been brought to its scraped knees, with parliament outlawing the possession of child pornography. But a gaping loophole was allowed for that pleasant Japanese pastime of thumbing through sexually explicit manga comics.
The new law also allowed illustrated images of sex acts involving children in anime cartoons and computer graphics. The Japanese legislation justified allowing such anime because it said it doesn't exploit real children, only imaginary ones. They wanted to avert any risk of curtailing artistic expression. Godzilla has been recently exported to New York by way of film to little effect at the box office. Different strokes for different blokes.
In Australia, cartoon representations of sexual positions of cartoon characters like Bart Simpson (apparently permanently aged 10) are illegal to possess under the Commonwealth and state legislations. Justice Michael Adams of the NSW Supreme Court ruled a few years ago that "the representation of a person who appears to be under 18" is captured by the NSW Crimes Act. Thus poor Alan John McEwan was convicted under the criminal code for using his computer to access child pornography - that is a series of cartoons depicting figures modelled on The Simpsons.
His lawyer, Mr Craddock, SC, valiantly argued that fictional characters were "not persons" in legislations. Adams stated the argument better, saying in algebra the letter "n" might stand for a number but is not a number in itself. A stick figure might symbolise a person but is not a person.
Paedophiles should now head to Japan with the whales, if they wish to have uninhibited and legal access to child sex pictures. In Japan, the favourite and trusted expression of Bart Simpson's "eat my shorts" would have a currency many locals would understand and consume. The Japanese use rope to play out sadomasochist role play involving sexual expression, whereas Australians used rope to hang its most famous bushrangers.
What is extraordinary is the fact that possession of child pornography is legal in 90 of 103 United Nations member states. In other words, most countries not only allow it, they render it legal, whether it be real or virtual. The delivery of the product to consumers via vending machine is a matter of local culture. Australia loves thongs out of its vending machines as do the Japanese like un-fresh panties by coin or credit card. In Los Angeles, medically prescribed marijuana is delivered by vending machine. In some British pub toilets, one can buy sex toys from a machine. In France, Jean-Louis Hecht launched 24-hour baguette machines for €1. In Abu Dhabi, the Emirates Palace Hotel machine sells gold bars to rich locals and stupid tourists.
We are our vending machines. In time, hopefully our standing armies will be vending machines. Fighting each other in virtual wars where, unlike the tragedies in Syria and Iraq, the missions will never be accomplished.