Illustration: Simon Letch
I've just read that a comet, 2013 A1 (Siding Spring), is on course to pass very close to Mars in October next year. Apparently it will pass within 50,000 kilometres of the Red Planet's surface - maybe even closer. It might even hit, though this is not considered likely, which I think is most unfortunate.
While it was certainly good that the asteroid that came within a few thousand kilometres of Earth last month missed us, and did not reduce a major city to a smoking crater, the much smaller meteor that exploded over Russia on the same day gave us a hint of the kind of fireworks show we could expect from future celestial prangs.
Now, there is a lot of talk about ways to defend ourselves against marauding mountains shooting through space at hypersonic speeds, possibly by nudging them out of the way if they appear to be on a collision course with our world.
Mars is a different matter altogether. Mars is a horrible place - a far-flung freezing desert, spinning mindlessly around the sun, showing no sign whatsoever of ancient civilisations with the wisdom of the ages, or even pathological sex-crazed aliens bent on demented experiments on our womenfolk. No valleys of gold, not even puddles of water. The place is, by any measure, a singular disappointment.
But, it would make the perfect crash-landing site for a comet. A comet is a more ferocious animal than a meteor, and most comets are bigger than all but the largest asteroids. And here we are, looking at a once in a lifetime opportunity to shove one into a planet.
Why would we do such a thing?
Because it would be so cool, that's why. It would be the geekiest cracker night prank in the history of humanity, and if we get busy right away, we could just pull it off. Shoot off a rocket, steer it alongside, and let her rip full throttle to shove the frozen juggernaut into the Martian atmosphere.
Ka-PLOW! A million hydrogen bomb equivalent blast, a crater the size of NSW, and the light show to end all light shows. It wouldn't be vandalism, as there's nothing there of any value and it wouldn't break any law or moral code. Sure, it would be gratuitous and stupid, but so is football.
And this would be much more fun than footy, believe me.
Greg Power
