I've been lucky this week to have been reminded about this, in a roundabout way.

I was umpiring a men's midweek hockey game at a ridiculous hour on Wednesday night. I had volunteered to help out a friend before I realised who was playing, a top-of-the-table clash between two teams who play with, let's call it for the sake of being polite, a certain intensity, particularly against each other.

One of the teams was from my own club, ANU, the other from the University of Canberra.

Anyway, it was quite a wonderful game of hockey, some great play from both teams, no quarter given by either opposition.

At half-time it was 2-2, all four goals tremendous shots, there was great midfield play, some great runs, some great defensive saves. A quick orange at half-time and both teams were ready to bring it home.

And then, about 15 minutes into the second half, there was an incident. In the aftermath of a strong exchange, a UC player allegedly called an ANU player (who just happened to be the ANU club's longerst serving president) president a "faggot".

I didn't hear the remark, even though it was down my end.

By the time I registered what was happening, there were already a few men exchanging a few heated words … and then the ANU lads said they wouldn't tolerate homophobic slurs and were happy to walk off and forfeit the game.

As they began to do just that, a UC player, a man I didn't know but one whose behaviour and extremely skilful play impressed me all night, stepped in and said no one would tolerate such slurs and he sent his own player from the field.

After he spent a good 15 minutes in the naughty chair, it was agreed by both teams that the banished player could return and he came back on with his tail between his legs somewhat, and the game played out its remaining time.

For the record, ANU won 4-2, but for me the real win of the night was the way in which the incident was handled.

As an umpire, I was probably obliged to report such matters to Hockey ACT but I felt, and I think the other umpire, who was from UC, did as well, that both teams handled the matter very well. And we decided to leave it at that.

I could well be struck off the umpire's list for not fulfilling my duty; who knows? With that, I'll have to see. I feel as though the peer-imposed punishment was enough.

But, in a way, I'm a big believer in what goes on on the field stays on the field.

I'll admit I did have some trouble with the whole Jacques Potgieter incident earlier in the year when David Pocock took the allegation of a homophobic slur to referee Craig Joubert in a Super Rugby match between the Brumbies and the Waratahs.

Potgieter was found guilty and fined $20,000 by the Australian Rugby Union and was required to undergo awareness training.

At the time I thought, 'Let it go, Dave. Tackle him a little harder, ruck just a little more vigorously; you'll get your revenge.'

It annoyed me that the Sydney press initially made the incident appear as though Pocock was a whinging dibber-dobber and then I realised that part of me did, too. And I was disappointed in myself.

Because if we all, as individuals, don't have the balls to make a stand, then what good are we?

Which is why, on a chilly Wednesday night in Canberra, I was proud that a group of men made that stand.

Whether the fellow who uttered the remark learned anything from the night, who knows?

He didn't appear terribly recalcitrant at the end of the night but he may well have apologised. Perhaps he should have been fined $20,000 and made to attend awareness classes.

But I know I learned something.

I learned that it's all well and good to make grand gestures like rainbow-fying your Facebook profile, or saying you believe in something, but until you're prepared to speak up, to walk off a field, to say to someone's face, 'This behaviour is not acceptable', then you're not doing the right thing.

And we should all do the right thing. Whether it's in a Super Rugby game, a men's midweek hockey game, at work, at home, in the school yard.

Stand up for what you believe in and make a stand.