In fact, it took 14 proposals from me to actually get him to the altar and that made it clear he understood he was a far better "catch" than I was.

Good thing I understand the nature of persistence. And, of course, I'd all but given up on the prospect of marriage and babies when he proposed.

And, just my guess, the day that man realised I was able to cook and clean, procreate and earn a living had pretty much the same effect on him. I'm way too shy to put tickets on myself about my abilities in the sack but, you know, still interested after all these years. That's something.

So this was a relationship where we could do the things we wanted to do without being hemmed in by what everyone else thought we should be doing. When we finally brought home baby number one, my spouse's boss gave him a payrise because it was going to be tough "on one income". It shocked his boss that when our darling eldest baby was five weeks old, I went back to work. Yes. Stopped (breast) feeding her (oh my, the number of people who asked if I'd stopped feeding her … yeah, she's in a corner, starving to death while I lunch every day). Hired a nanny. And went to work to earn a living in a job I absolutely loved. Loved.

Did I cry? Of course. Does that baby, 28 last week, love her former nanny more than she loves me? Hahahahahha. Don't be so ridiculous. Is she an axe murderer? Not so I'd notice, although my three children do get a chilling glint in their eyes when they think I'm out of line.

The war on choice continues apace. If it's not politicians telling you what to do with your bodies, it's - god forbid - social commentators instructing you what to do with your life. The lot of them can just eff off.

In the space of two weeks, I've discovered two new ways to limit women, instead of encouraging them to choose what's right for them and their families, if they have them.

In the past few days, the controlling mechanism is inspired by a new book by Emily Matchar called Homeward Bound: Why Women Are Embracing the New Domesticity. That last, an irritating phrase, is now being used by others to imply that those of us who chose to work wouldn't know how to be domestic if we tried. I can out-muffin any of them. Tins at 20 paces.

And, oh, the enthusiasm with which this is being promoted - I've read dozens of articles in the past 48 hours about women who have chosen to give up their jobs and put every ounce of energy into homemaking and babymaking. Look, great choice for some - not that anyone I know has made this choice unless they've been forced to make it by the job market. Matchar talks about the disappointment of the workplace - but it wasn't too long ago women felt trapped at home and longing to participate in full lives. Let's not make this front, the newly-domesticated front, the focus of our endeavours when many of us do really, really, really want to work in jobs which accommodate all of us.

Then, two weeks ago, it was the phenomenon of the raven mother. The latest example is a German minister, Kristina Schroder, who gave birth to her first baby last year - and went back to work when the child was 10 weeks old.

Hate mail? And then some. She told a German newspaper that people wrote to her, hoping she would miss her daughter's first steps or first laugh. The name they gave this ambitious politician? Rabenmutter, the raven who leaves her babies to cry in the nest without her.

I remember having to fend off questions about attachment and breastfeeding and every other bloody question from people who were lucky I didn't hurt them. These days, I wouldn't hesitate to tell someone to bugger off - but I imagine that young women, fresh from childbirth and still vulnerable, find it hard to defend their choices.

I'm a great cook, a hopeless cleaner, a passionate wife and mother. I also loved all the jobs I've ever had.

I'd like the full-time working mother to be as acceptable a narrative as the full-time stay-at-home mother. When that happens, women will really be free. And so will their partners.

Because when we short-change women's choices we also short-change men's choices. And right now, their "choices" keep them in the harness, away from family and friends; their other lives. That's hardly a choice at all.

■ Follow me on Twitter @jennaprice or email jenna_p@bigpond.net.au.