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An 'iPhone 5' for unhappy fans of food porn

Date

Deborah Netburn

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Apple rumour mill followers: stop obsessing over how many pins will be in the new dock connector of the iPhone 5, where the microphone will be located, and how much bigger the screen will be and prepare to laugh at yourself.

On Monday, New York comedian Adam Sacks uploaded a video to YouTube with the tantalising title “LEAKED  Official Apple iPhone 5 Promo Video- Keynote 2012”.

Sounds too good to be true, right? Well, it is. The video is not real, but that doesn’t mean it’s not funny.

And it isn’t just the Apple rumour people who Sacks is skewering — it’s also those banes of our modern existence — the people who won’t stop taking pictures of the food they eat and posting them to Facebook and Twitter and other social media sites.

"Before designing the iPhone 5, we studied how customers use their iPhones and we discovered something interesting: people only use iPhones to take pictures of their food,” says a young man in the video identified as a vice president of design for Apple. "They are sad and alone and so they use pictures of food to create an illusion of a fulfilling life."

Then he debuts the iPhone 5, which looks like a camera, not a phone. He gives some stats and then adds: "These pictures look so good that nobody would ever imagine you lie awake at night wondering why you can't feel happiness."

The VP also adds that Siri has been redesigned too. Her primary purpose? To put fun captions on your food photos.

"Chickpea salad. Nom, nom, nom. I am happy."

LA Times

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