Robot Monster - number two on James Joyce's 10 rubbish movie monsters list.

Robot Monster - number two on James Joyce's 10 rubbish movie monsters list.

It's been hailed as B-Movie campalicious because it boasts what is supposedly the lamest monster ever committed to celluloid.

Robot Monster, the 1953 science-fiction schlocker, famously features a bloke in a gorilla suit wearing a diving helmet tormenting pretty ladies.

The full, unrelenting horror of the alien invader Ro-Man will be unleashed on Canberra audiences when Robot Monster has a special outdoor screening from 8.15pm on Saturday November 10 at the National Film and Sound Archive's Arc Cinema.

But is producer/director Phil Tucker's 1950s abomination truly the crappiest movie monster ever?

What's the worst you've ever seen? Here are 10 rubbish movie monsters - and 10 of the coolest - to get you thinking.

10 rubbish movie monsters

10. Battlefield Earth (2000) John Travolta’s alien invader resembles a Klingon from Nimbin in this monstrously stupid piece of space junk based on the book by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard.

9.  Dog Soldiers (2003) The devil is in the entrails in this grisly werewolf howler that’s equal parts gore and bore.

8. Species III (2004) Scaly lady alien seeks mates for vigorous sex and post-coital snacking. No strings attached. But maybe spiky tentacles.

7. The Happening (2008) M. Night Shyamalan presents the unseen, um, terror of the wind. Or something deadly blowing in the wind. Or something. A killer breeze? Puh-lease!

6. Leprechaun (1993) Jennifer Aniston Vs a Very Short, Very Evil Irish Goblin (Warwick Davis). An unlucky lass is poor Jen, to be sure. Her movie debut in this stinker AND breaking up with Brad Pitt.

5. Anaconda (1997) J-Lo Vs the Amazon’s biggest snake. Yes, it’s the booty versus the beast!

4. Night of the Lepus (1972) Janet Leigh Vs giant killer rabbits. No joke. Btw: no fluffy bunnies, or brain cells, were harmed during the making of this film.

3. Jaws: The Revenge (1987) Michael Caine Vs a great white shark with a grudge. Dah-dum…. dah-dum. Nah, just dumb.

2. Robot Monster (1953) Take one gorilla suit and a deep-sea diver’s helmet and you have the evil extra-terrestrial invader Ro-Man Extension XJ-2. And, yes, that’s his name, not his licence plate number.

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1. Edward Cullen (Twilights 1 to 27) Sorry, Team R-Patz. Time to admit it. Count von Count from Sesame Street is a more convincing vampire than Bella’s sooky nape-nibbler.

 

10 coolest movie monsters

10. The Host (2006) South Koreans battle a giant man-eating amphibian. Terrifying and hilarious --- the monster and the movie.

9. American Werewolf In London (1981) Oscar-winning make-up effects create an unforgettable werewolf transformation scene. Well, almost as unforgettable as Jacob taking his shirt off in Twilights 2, 7, 13, 21 and 27.

8. StarshipTroopers (1997) Paul Verhoeven’s swarms of invading alien “bugs” were spectacularly nasty pieces of work but gave good splatter when blasted.

7. Alien (1979) Is that your heart pounding out of your chest or something….alien? Ridley Scott directs Sigourney Weaver. H.R. Giger designed the beastie.

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6. Jurassic Park (1993) T-Rex-sized thrills from Steven Spielberg.

5. Gremlins (1984) Cuddly, adorable, just add water and, whammo, instant creature feature.

4. The Descent (2005) Six chicks with picks explore Appalachian caves and find, well, you can guess the rest. It’s alarming how much terror fits in tight, dark spaces.

3. The Thing (1982) John Carpenter’s gory, grotesque alien horror starring Kurt Russell boasts more parasites and paranoia than Kevin Rudd’s last cabinet meeting.

2. Monsters Inc (2001) Hairy but not scary monsters charm in this candy-coloured hoot from the animation wizards at Pixar. Be afraid: a sequel is reportedly on the way.

1. Jaws (1975) We’re gonna need a bigger list. 

What do you think? Leave your comments below.

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