Well, that's about it from us. For the parochial among us, it's been a pretty amazing Oscars, the most successful ever by Australians with three wins: Catherine Martin (best costume design for The Great Gatsby), Martin again with Beverley Dunn (production design for Gatsby) and Cate Blanchett (best actress, Blue Jasmine).
Bad luck but well played David Clayton (visual effects for The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug) and Michael Wilkinson (costume design, American Hustle).
Of course, none of us has done anything to warrant a share of your glory but, to hell with it, we'll bask in it anyway.
Until next time. We hope you've enjoyed.
It's been a blast.
Oh, and one more dispatch from the winners' rostrum. Brad Pitt has won his first Oscar, as a producer of best picture 12 Years A Slave. It will be all smiles chez Brangelina tonight, you'd imagine, with Angelina Jolie also collecting an honorary Oscar for her humanitarian work.
WOW! "12 Years a Slave" Best Picture of the Year! My friends, I believe this is on the best films ever made. A work of powerful art. Genius.— Michael Moore (@MMFlint) March 3, 2014
And for those who are keeping count, here's a look at the losers' circle:
American Hustle: zero wins from 10 nominations
Captain Phillips: zero from six
Nebraska: zero from six
The Wolf of Wall Street: zero from five
Philomena: zero from four
Oh, and poor Leo DiCaprio, who has now been nominated for four acting Oscars without a single win. And just to rub salt in the wounds, he was also up for a best picture Oscar as one of the producers of The Wolf of Wall Street. Bummer.
Let's do a quick tally. Of the big contenders, 12 Years a Slave wins three from nine, including best picture, supporting actress and adapted screenplay; Gravity gets seven from 10, including best director and a raft of technical awards, including cinematography and score; Dallas Buyers Club got best actor and supporting actor and hair and make-up, giving it three from six nominations.
As often happens in a year crowded with good films, it's a split field, though Alfonso Cuaron can go home with his head held very high tonight.
With the possible exception of Christian Bale being cruelly overlooked for a strikingly good performance in American Hustle, I'm inclined to think they got it about right this time around.
What do you think?
Gravity - Trailer
Astronauts attempt to return to Earth after debris crashes into their space shuttle, leaving them drifting alone in orbit.
American Hustle's zero wins from 10 nominations is not the biggest shut-out. That's a record shared by The Colour Purple (Steven Spielberg) and The Turning Point (Herbert Ross) with zero from 11.
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Another selfie from Oscars host Ellen DeGeneres.
One more talking point: having conspicuously avoided all mention of her writer-director at the BAFTAs last month, best actress winner Cate Blanchett took the bold step of muttering the words "Woody Allen" into her microphone while accepting the award. It was greeted neither with a thunderous chorus of approval nor with howls of derision, but rather with a muted smattering of polite applause. The jury remains out on Woody, it seems, but Our Cate appears once again to have steered a perfect course through the seas of intranquility.
Oscar winner Jared Leto has taken to Twitter to show his appreciation.
Let's take a moment and spare a thought for David O. Russell: last year, his Silver Linings Playbook was nominated for eight Oscars and won just one, Jennifer Lawrence's well-deserved best actress gong. This year he went one better. American Hustle was up for 10 awards, and collected a big fat zero. For what it's worth, I loved the film, and thought it much better than the melodrama of Silver Linings. My hot vein of form continues.
If the 12 Years a Slave director is babbling this much and talking this quickly now, imagine what he'll be like at 3am at the Vanity Fair after party.Back to top
So that's it, 12 Years a Slave gets best picture, thus proving the Academy voters are not racists (per Ellen's opening remarks), and giving Steve McQueen the opportunity to deliver one of the least coherent speeches in living memory.
Wow. What a moment for a tech meltdown. Sorry for the lag, everyone.
Matthew McConaughey speech is a good-natured, God-bothering egotistical ramble.
"There's three things I need every day," he says. "Something to look up to, something to look forward to, and something to chase."
He looks up to God, he tells us, and appears to be auditioning for some as yet-unannounced Billy Graham biopic. He looks forward to his family. He chases his hero. tells us that's him, 10 years from now.
Call me churlish, but I like him a little less at the end of that speech than I did at the beginning. Despite the Dazed and Confused nod there with his "all right, all right, all right".
Dallas Buyers Club
12 Years a Slave
The Wolf of Wall Street
Winner: 12 Years a Slave
Trailer: 12 Years a Slave
In the antebellum United States, Solomon Northup, a free black man from upstate New York is abducted and sold into slavery.
Christian Bale, American Hustle
Bruce Dern, Nebraska
Leonardo DiCaprio, The Wolf of Wall Street
Chiwetel Ejiofor, 12 Years A Slave
Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Buyers Club
Winner: Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Buyers Club
Trailer: Dallas Buyers Club
In 1985 Dallas, electrician and hustler Ron Woodroof works around the system to help AIDS patients get the medication they need after he is himself diagnosed with the disease.
And here's Jennifer Lawrence, walking across the stage without tripping over. Is there nothing this woman can't do?
Big plug there for the Sydney Theatre Company. Get on the phone and get those season tickets, kids; they'll be gone in minutes.
We are bursting with pride! Congrats Cate! #Oscars2014— SydneyTheatreCompany (@SydneyTheatreCo) March 3, 2014
#CateBlanchett keepin it real, keepin it classy, keepin it Aussie. Well done lady! I hope we realize how lucky we are to have her!— Magda Szubanski (@MagdaSzubanski) March 3, 2014
Thrilled for the uber-talented Cate Blanchett. We had the pleasure of flying to&from Australia with her and she could not have been nicer.— Steve Levitan (@SteveLevitan) March 3, 2014
CATE BLANCHETT wins BEST ACTRESS for BLUE JASMINE! She's so crazy talented and pretty. And her husband's a normal guy. I like her. #SMoscars— KevinSmith (@ThatKevinSmith) March 3, 2014
"Sit down, you're too old to be standing," Cate starts, and if they could take that statue back I bet they would.
Anyone notice the thematic similarity of the clips? Three of them - Cate, Meryl and Sandra - are shown having tantrums. Hmmm.
Amy Adams, American Hustle
Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine
Sandra Bullock, Gravity
Judi Dench, Philomena
Meryl Streep, August: Osage County
Winner: Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine
Blue Jasmine trailer
A Park Avenue high society wife is forced to slum it with her blue-collar sister in San Francisco, when she loses everything.