Weigh in: Kevin sets a new record for the show.
When a group of people so morbidly obese they qualify for a weight-loss television show are shocked at the size of a new contestant, you know he's a massive unit.
When Kevin arrived at the weigh-in for The Biggest Loser: The Next Generation (Ten, 7.30pm) the other contestants who thought their own buttons were working hard gave a collective gasp. It said: ''My god he's fat.''
At times it's brutal in its honesty.
And he is. Kevin terrified the scales into revealing he weighs 254.7 kilograms, making him the biggest contestant in The Biggest Loser history, worldwide. When this record was announced no one knew whether to high five or burst into tears - the two recommended reactions to most things on this show.
Brutal honesty: The Biggest Loser.
Kevin is clearly an intelligent man who can't believe his partner has to put his socks on for him, since his feet are out of sight and reach. He admits he's medically too big for weight-loss surgery.
When the cameras zoom in on him trying to get up from face down in the sand it looks frighteningly like a nature documentary. He is almost the exact weight of a pygmy hippo. I researched.
I already like Kevin. His time being barked at by the Commando (''In a second? That's what you've been saying your whole damn life'') and pushing a body he seems to be lost inside of, will be fascinating.
Tuesday's half-marathon, with the parents and their offspring tied together, is a classic example of dragging people to the end of their tether.
The motivational pop-psychology of the trainers is hard to take from the safety of the lounge chair, so it must be unbearable in the flesh.
But it seems to work. At times it's brutal in its honesty. Shannan describes the 174-kilogram Cher as ''lazy and she's got no pain threshold''. Her mother, Anita, is working so hard to urge her baby on, perhaps feeling guilty for having called her Cher in the first place.
You can watch the ''after'' part of the fitness journey with the FIFA World Cup 2014 qualifier (SBS One, 8pm).
Football's renaissance through a vibrant A-League featuring brilliant marquee players such as Alessandro Del Piero and Shinji Ono, and a fairytale first year for the Western Sydney Wanderers, tips momentum into this crucial international.
The Socceroos under coach Holger Osieck are desperate for a home win against Oman in their bid to make the next World Cup in Brazil. Everyone wants to make the next World Cup in Brazil - what a party that will be.
If you're a sports fan who likes to yell abuse at opponents on the television, you could try something smart such as: ''Hey Oman, you peaked in the 19th century.''
That's the country, not the football team.
TV picks of the day
- The Bigger Loser: Next Generation (Ten, 7.30pm)
- Parenthood (Seven, 9.30pm)
- Artscape: Anatomy (ABC1, 10pm)