After a brief hiatus, "Australia's most successful reality TV dating show", according to the network on which it is aired, Farmer Wants A Wife, is back.
Subscribe now for unlimited access.
$0/
(min cost $0)
or signup to continue reading
The series which has generated eight marriages, three babies and three long-term relationships has returned to Channel Nine with a new, bubbly host Sam McClymont (yes of The McClymonts) and six new country boys seeking love.
This year each farmer will take four "lucky ladies" back to their respective properties for a 10-day stay to see how they like life on the land and if sparks fly. As someone who is from rural Australia, 10 days is just enough time to decide whether you can see yourself living with patchy WiFi and starchy foods for the rest of your life in the middle of nowhere.
The fresh crop of farmers are a motley crew from far flung places like the Pilbara, South Australia and Rockhampton. Two are just 25-years-old who seem to be the most mature of the bunch. Cattle farmer Matt, who moonlights as a helicopter pilot, has a resume as impressive as his pearly white chompers. He once wrestled for Australia but now enjoys "going to the gym instead of having a beer after work".
Dairy farmer Matt, also 25, has three pet Dalmatians which I hope the producers have fun with. Nothing says ratings winner like a Cruella de Vil narrative arch.
As well as dairy and cattle, the other farmers span the oyster, rodeo and cropping industries. Interestingly there are no avocado farmers starring this year, possibly because they're too busy making money.
The potential wives are a refreshing bunch considering we've been hammered with the falsie loving, ill-fitting cocktail-gown-wearing Bachelor contestants for so long now. Thanks to the variety of ages of the blokes (25 to 52), it's great to see women of all ages, shapes and sizes cast. Some steal the spotlight straight off the bat with lines like, "It's all about finding your best mate that you want to shag at the end of the day," a potential wife of 36-year-old crop and livestock farmer Julz quipped.
However not to be outshone, the six best quotes came from our farmers:
"She's pretty well composed" - 52-year-old former bull rider turned cowboy Lance describing a woman he just met.
"She'll pull Lancie into gear" - Lance. Again. Now talking in the third person about a woman he just met.
"I like to hold a woman's hand, not rubbing their leg up or anything, I just think it's nice" - Lance. This time discussing how he likes to court a woman.
"I really don't mind giving them a kiss and a cuddle in the street, I'm not adverse to that" - Lance on being pro-public displays of affection.
"I like a woman in jeans and a shirt with the collar up during the day then it's nice to slip into a dress and heels at night" - Lance thinking this show is set in 1952.
"Do you like Game of Thrones?" a valid opening question from shy oyster farmer Jedd's to one woman who later eliminated herself as she didn't think the competitive nature of the show was for her.
