For Game of Thrones fans outraged that the best show on television was not nominated for any television awards at the Golden Globes, never fear.
Monday delivered a present better than any statuette – a new trailer for season four.
Starting with a spine-tingling shadow of a dragon over King's Landing, and finishing with (perhaps unsurprisingly) a beheading, it is one minute and 48 seconds of Lannister-worthy gold.
Before we break it down, here's a general spoiler warning: this piece will mention facts and revelations from the previous three TV series of Game of Thrones. It will not, however, reference the later books, so while theories are welcome, spoilers are not (or I'll cut ya like a Greyjoy sausage).
"They know I saved the city, they know I won the war," says King Joffrey, showing the same level of self-awareness as a banana.
"The war's not won," replies his confused unky-dad Jaime, who's decided to get a haircut and a golden handshake. There's a glimpse of him grabbing Cersei in an intimate kissy-kissy type move, so it looks like Project Twincest is back on.
We see a tantalising glimpse of Joffrey's wedding, with bride Kate Middleton (aka Margaery Tyrell) out Cersei-ing Cersei in the big hair stakes. Let's hope their nuptials are a bloody ripper, and I mean that literally.
Ser Jorah Mormont remains king of the gravelly-voiced cautionary tale. "It is tempting to see your enemies as evil," he tells Daenerys (Dany). "But there's good and evil on both sides in every war ever fought." Yeah, even Hitler liked dogs, so you tell 'em Jorah.
Dany's willingness to compromise remains limited. "They can live in my new world or die in their old one," she intones. Wait, so a blonde who highlights her pure bloodlines is aiming for the annihilation of a particular way of life? Hmm, I think I'm regretting that Hitler joke.
We see Tyrion in shackles and in a jail cell. He doesn't think he can talk his way out of his predicament, and also mourns: "If you want justice, you've come to the wrong place." What on earth has the little lion done, except be awesome at everything?
Tyrion and Lord Varys are both seen talking to a new bloke who looks like Errol Flynn in a fancy orange coat. He has an accent, which sounds like it could be Braavosi, and seems to be able to wield a sword as well. He tells Tyrion that the Lannisters aren't the only ones who pay their debts, so perhaps Errol's from the Iron Bank that the kingdom is in debt to?
There's going to be a big clash at the wall – you can see Ser Alliser Thorne yelling "Tonight we fight!". I daresay he's taken control since the death of the Old Bear Mormont, and hopefully he's patched things up with one Jon Snow so they can take on the wildlings. Also, Ygritte's looking a bit miserable, but then it's no doubt been a while since she's been on the receiving end of a Snow job.
Kate Bush (aka Stannis' red witch Melisandre) is back, chanting songs to her Lord of Light and telling someone the only hell is the one we live in now. I hope Stannis is ready for more action, in both senses of the word.
Speaking of action, there's an incredibly brief shot of a woman slapping a man as they're in bed together. Now I've been pausing and jog shuttling those few frames for a good hour and I still can't work out who those people are. Is one Kate Middleton? Free non-suspicious foot rubs for anyone who gets it.
I'm pretty sure the big beefy shirtless dude going the epic sword chop is Gregor Clegane, aka The Mountain. We haven't seen him since the first season, and yet in a series where there is a smorgasbord of characters you'd like to see viciously dispatched, he's right up there.
As is one Littlefinger. Ugh, that man can take a long walk off a short pier, preferably into the jaws of a rabid shark. He's demanding to know which side someone (Varys as usual?) is on, which if you ask me is showing cheek of the highest order.
There are many other tantalising morsels for Throners to chew on: a brief glimpse of Yara Greyjoy in a rowboat and her brother Theon; one of the Watchman leaving a baby in the snow (not Gilly's baby, please no!); a dude getting attacked in a dark alley; some battle scenes and beheadings; Arya holding a Needle-like small sword; Bran reaching out to a weirwood while Hodor watches on.
There were characters we didn't see: Walter Frey (boo), Roose Bolton (hiss), Sam Tarly (awww), Osha and Rickon (hiding), Beric Dondarrion (dead or alive), Loras Tyrell (hello sailor), Olenna Tyrell (hello cheese), Daario Naharis (Faabio), Shae (phwoar) and Sansa Stark. Also there wasn't nearly enough Tywin Lannister. I miss his eyes boring into my soul.
All in all, there's only one word for the Game of Thrones series four trailer: Hodor.
Bring on April 6!