We're into the second week and life looks exactly the same as it always does in Generic Reality TV Africa. Everyone is lying around on their camp beds sullenly whittling sticks or scratching themselves.

But luckily we have fresh celebrities to shake things up in the form of cricketer Andrew "Freddie" Flintoff and MasterChef cook Julie Goodwin. Freddie and Julie must be introduced to each other carefully, like pandas who've just been imported to a new zoo. So the producers shove Freddie into a net and dangle him from a tree. Julie, who is bizarrely "excited to get in the camp and meet everyone", must abusively catapult a basket full of stuffed monkeys into a tree to free him. He has no idea who she is. She's utterly terrible at catapulting stuffing monkeys. It's the world's worst carnival game.

Freddie must now spend a night in a dirty cave with a random woman he has just met - make up your own double entendre about cricket tours here. To break the ice, Julie tells him a dad joke about lions and giraffes in a bar. They must spend the night in the cave together to win "luxury items" with which to placate the angry, unwashed incumbents when they arrive in camp.

They manage to spend the night together successfully and march triumphantly towards the camp - where they encounter Chrissie Swan going to the toilet. Poor Marcia Brady is not gonna know any of these people. "I thought I would be going to the worst party ever," says Freddie. He reckons everyone would be very glum but actually, he says, "they were all really obese". Or maybe he says "upbeat". It's unclear.

The angry bug-eyed girl pretends she doesn't know who Freddie is. She does a special piece to camera to inform Australia of her ignorance. "I don't know who this guy is!" she exclaims.

Luxury items are handed out by Christmas Pappa Flintoff from a big swag bag. Merv Hughes has a big fluffy pillow. Someone else has a dead sheep. Joel Creasey's luxury item is a framed photo of Harry Styles. Freddie, displaying hitherto unseen depths of knowledge, disapproves: "He's not even the best one in One Direction, not like Niall."

The excitement of having new people in camp wears off pretty quick on this lot. Andrew Daddo takes to sniffing his luxury item - a giant lilo. "Ooooh, new latex," he says, getting an erotic whiff of squeaky clean pool accessory. The bug-eyed chick has something even better - she's sneaking off to sniff a dirty shirt by herself on a bridge. "It's very selfish," she admits.

Barry and Joel are selected for the tucker trial where they must walk across twin tightropes suspended over a rushing dam. Holding hands. But don't worry, both Baz and Joel have seen Cirque du Soleil about 10 times between them, so they are experts in high wire acrobatics. They fall off the wire 68 times and win precisely two stars. Yawn.

Back at camp, Chrissie and Joel spend their time trying to teach Maureen McCormack to speak Strine. The experience is so horrendous that Dr Chris Brown is forced to come up with a worthwhile joke - something about not being able to edit out Julia Morris' gags. The celebs then play a game that involves Julie and Freddie telling exciting anecdotes (She once fell through a wall at a wedding! He peed in the garden at 10 Downing! She's a Mossad agent! He's never been in love!)

For a thrilling finale to the show, we discover that Julie Goodwin is an okay cook and Merv thinks one of the key ingredients in the meals is "dickweed". The bug eyed girl (Lauren Brant apparently), and lovelorn Bachelorette Anna Heinrich are chosen to do the Gross Food Challenge tomorrow, prompting everyone to start calling out names of random animals and private parts. And so we exit the camp to the sound of Andrew Daddo yelling, "Ostrich anus!"