Lizard Lick Towing, Thursday, May 3

A&E, 9.30pm

There are colourful turns of phrase and then there are colourful turns of phrase. The best ones don't leave you feeling icky, as do a couple of the ones we get here: ''He's crazier than Bobby Brown with a crack whore'' and ''That's easier than a Dallas cheerleader on a Friday night after a 12-pack''. Tow-truck drivers in North Carolina might well talk in this manner but this isn't a reality program. It's a fake reality program, so it would have been nice if the scriptwriters could have come up with some stuff that was equally colourful but in slightly better taste. In any case, tonight tow-truck drivers Ron and Bobby have to repossess an SUV from a guy called Crazy Walt, who proceeds to shoot at them and give one of them a rather unconvincing pistol-whipping. Does anybody actually believe this is real?