A couple of things become clear in this latest instant kitchen - sorry, ULTIMATE instant kitchen instalment of MKR.
One is that WA’s Kelly fancies herself as a bit of a homegirl.
"WA’s never even gotten close to winning MKR and we gotta represent,” she says, in a way that P.Diddy never would.
The other is that both Kelly and Chloe see themselves as the arbiters of good taste in this competition, out to “change the world, one palate at a time.” Their words, not mine.
The best way, in their view, to achieve this, is to serve up the most highfalutin’ foods they can afford. How well these foods are cooked appears to be a secondary concern, and of even less import to our WA wiggas is how other, less “sophisticated’ palates - namely the Greek twins’ - might receive their adventurous menu.
"They seem to be pretty sheltered in the types of foods they eat,” says Chloe.
The twins, meanwhile, confess that they want the WA girls out of the game, which is about as shocking as Kelly’s declaration that premium ingredients are required for their premium restaurant.
It’s over to the judges to make some enlightening comments about how risque the menu is and the need for Chloe and Kelly to get it right.
Eyeing the elderflower curd in the dessert, Manu says he hopes they’re not planning to use cordial, at which point we cut deliciously to a scene of Chloe singing out the blurb from an elderflower cordial bottle before throwing it gaily into her shopping trolley. Mwahahahahah.
"You need to be a fine dining chef to get the flavour of truffle ice cream right,” says Kelly, making a pretty strong argument against their decision to serve truffle ice cream.
The twins have a jab at the girls, who infamously used store-bought puff pastry in their first instant restaurant round.
"I’m expecting tonight maybe something out of a packet,” says Helena-or-Vikki.
"Let’s just hope it’s a good brand.” Zing.
The guests arrive at chez Chlo and Kell dressed in their flapper-style finery - it’s never really explained why but we’re guessing the theme is Gatsby.
When the hosts open the door to greet the Greek twins, the air practically freezes between the girls. "The first thing I want to do is slam the door back in their face,” says Chloe, while Helena-or-Vikki (sorry, it’s hard to keep track) rightly notes that “Kelly does the best fake welcomes."
Come time to order, the twins surprise everyone by choosing the more out-there of the two entrees, the bone marrow and oxtail. It’s a decision they might come to regret, however - Chloe and Kelly come good on their promise to blow their tiny (half) minds (are we done with the twins sharing the one brain joke yet?).
Sampling his, Manu is "in ‘eaven.”
"This is the reason I do this job.”
Even the twins admit that it was pretty good, in a manner reminiscent of drawing blood from a stone.
Pete was the only one to order the alternate entree of marron and scallops with confit potato, but sadly for him, his dish was neglected while the oxtail was lavished with love.
For main C and K have cooked capretto, which is Italian for baby goat, but they’ve been to Italy, so why say baby goat when you can say capretto?
Their alternate main is venison with blackberries, to prove that the girls have no fear when it comes to gamey or exotic meats. If they make it to the next round we can expect sea anemone and wild warthog, mark my words.
Kelly has a mini-meltdown when her capretto emerges from the oven a bit tougher than she would have liked. She’s unsure of what to do - put it back in the oven or just stick it in with the sauce and hope that cooks it.
Chloe doesn’t know what to do either - Kelly is the meat queen. Fortunately for both, her rather baseless suggestion to chuck it in the sauce turns out to be the right one.
C and K are, by now, looking considerably more nervous than they did when serving up their entree. Pete provides relief, telling them their capretto was melt-in-the-mouth good, but unfortunately also very acidic due to not cooking off the wine properly.
Manu is also a big fan of his venison, bar the fact he could have done with more “sauce”, and the whole thing was rather “petite”.
This adds weight to his earlier remark that everything sounds better in French, exemplified when he sang Happy Birthday to the twins in French. That’s right, they’re spending their birthday at Chloe and Kelly’s. Oh, producers, you are cruel.
But a present of sorts comes the twins’ way in the form of the WA desserts. Traditionally a weak spot for the girls, tonight is no different.
They are making truffled truffle with truffle ice cream (I know, right? Stop it) and brioche doughnuts with elderflower curd.
It takes not one but three attempts for Chloe to get the ganache right. The same thing happens with their brioche doughnuts. Over two hours (and lots of jokes about the girls foraging for truffles in France between courses) later, desserts are finally served, at which point the usually composed Chloe and Kelly look close to breaking point.
Manu says the truffle ice cream is to die for, but the rest of the dish - which includes a “smear” of pear coulis and walnuts - makes no sense at all.
Pete’s doughnuts aren’t cooked on the inside, and he instantly recognises the elderflower flavour as being sourced from cordial - it tastes “superficial”, he says.
Helena-or-Vikki, who have found fault with everything served since the entree, say that the walnuts are their favourite thing on the plate. “Straight from the packet,” says one of them, smiling.
The mums are quite generous with their scores, giving the girls a 6 overall. The Tassie girls give WA a 5, and Paul and Blair, possibly strategically, give the girls a 4. The twins, ruthlessly, give them a 3, possibly forgetting how much they begrudgingly enjoyed the entree.
The judges are kinder - the oxtail gets a perfect 10 from Manu, and there are a couple of 8s in there for their mains, but they fall down at dessert - 5 from Manu and 4 from Pete for the dodgy doughnuts.
With a final score of 59 out of 100, Chloe and Kelly sink straight to the bottom of the leader board, and Dads Paul and Blair surf straight into the final four.
WA retire to the kitchen, in tears, and we await what is certain to provide some of the bitchiest scenes to date when the twins have their turn next week.
Helena-and-Vikki, have you "got this?”