RECAP

Queensland's surfie dads may not be as chilled out by the end.

Queensland's surfie dads may not be as chilled out by the end.

Surfing! Quail! Curry! Chocolate! Bromance! Queensland!

That's right, it's time to get a bit state-triotic on My Kitchen Rules with episode three featuring affable Queenslanders Paul and Blair.

The Gold Coast teachers both seem to be made of 60 per cent smiles and 40 per cent good intentions, making them almost impossible to tell apart.

Not looking impressed ... Manu and Peter find the dessert 'too rich'.

Not looking impressed ... Manu and Peter find the dessert 'too rich'.

They're both married with a son each, go on surfing odysseys together, and by evidence of their outfits, raid each other's wardrobes. They're simply adorable.

But can they cook?

After starting their day with a refreshing surf, the fellas did a lovely job decorating their instant restaurant, aptly named Swell.

The bright theme featuring oranges, pinks and reds was inspired by their love of all things Bali, a passion that also flowed through to their chosen menu.

Entree would be salt and pepper quail, the main a spicy Indonesian chicken curry, and dessert rum chocolate pots.

It's surprising they didn't plump for something seafood-related, but perhaps the fish weren't biting, or the prawns were out of season.

Nevertheless, the quail allowed them a chance to show off their technical skills – as long as it was prepared properly. I realise it was a challenging task, but that didn't stop me snorting every time they talked about “deboning”.

The pair made good time working on their tiny birds and preparing their spicy curry paste (although I must admit my ignorance - I thought “galangal” was a character from Lord of the Rings).

But then ... disaster.

Blair/Paul couldn't find the chocolate he'd bought for his rum pots. It transpired that he probably left it at the supermarket, meaning a rushed trip back with just 39 minutes until the guests arrived.

Frankly, this seemed suss. Who forgets chocolate? I'd be more likely to leave the quail and the chicken behind than a few bars of Toblerone, then improvise a “Top Deck and Mint Aero” inspired menu. Who wouldn't want chocolate for dinner?

“It's not a robbery, it's not a robbery!” Blair/Paul yelled as he raced into the supermarket for more. Robbers should try that technique.

He rushed back to base to find Paul/Blair changed and panicking. The pair decided to leave off melting the chocolate in case guests arrived to find them in flagrante de-cocoa.

Said guests were at that moment promenading up Paul/Blair's street, making Tourism Queensland happy by citing the oft-repeated slogan: “Beautiful one day, perfect the next.”

The boys took a deep breath (I guess surfing would teach you how to do that) and welcomed everybody into Swell. The guests were mostly impressed by the decor, although NSW rivals Annie and Jason maintained presentation was only one small factor and they'd better not beat their cheese menu from episode one or else there would be cheese. Or blood. But mostly cheese.

Paul/Blair realised their quail was not coming up golden brown enough, so regrouped and recoated the tiny bird meat with about 15 more layers of flour.

The move was a success. The judges - including the French guy who's so French he sounds like he's doing an impression of a French accent - rated it highly, and the other competitors were left lost for words (mostly because they were shovelling quail into their gobs).

Sadly, however, Paul/Blair made a critical mistake in preparation of the chicken curry main course – he cut the chicken thigh pieces too small. This left them overcooked and dry, interestingly enough the exact opposite of South Australian competitor Deb, who's being positioned as the yummy grandmummy of the series. Hubba hubba.

Eye-candy aside, the main course left everyone underwhelmed, although the accompanying sambal went down a treat (although once again, is it a real food, or a JRR Tolkien character?).

Halfway through dinner saw a stare-off between the Victorian twins and the West Australian travel snobs. Like Paul/Blair it's hard to tell who's who out of that foursome, mostly because two of them are identical, but also because they obviously all went to the same ombre-obsessed hairdresser.

The nature of this confected “disagreement” was if and when liqueurs should be used in desserts. Don't scoff – my family still mourns The Great Baileys Brownies Disaster of 1994. So many needlessly creamy casualties.

Anyway, it turns out the problem with Paul/Blair's rum pots was not the rum element, but the over abundance of chocolate.

“Too rich!” cried the French judge, which was ironic given he comes from the country that invented pain au chocolat and the Palace of Versailles.

By night's end, Paul/Blair were feeling nervous. It had been a long day of whipping, chopping, frying and deboning (snigger), and they had lost some of their initial enthusiasm.

But the judges surprised them with scores above 6 and 7 for the main and dessert, and 9 and 10 for that quail.

Also, the WA travel snobs, who we're all being encouraged to hate, wound up giving the Queensland lads the best score of all the other competitors. Think on that before you fall victim to constructed reality TV narratives, people.

So after a top night with a pair of humble, healthy Queenslanders, we turn out attention south. Bring it on, Victorian twins Helena and Vikki!