Spice Girls crash and burn
My Kitchen Rules contestants Jessie and Biswah get teary after their dishes don't earn rave reviews from the judges.
Channel Seven's promotions staff should be holding out their hands for a pay rise, after their clever work in hyping the cooking of My Kitchen Rules contestants Jessie and Biswa paid off in a massive way.
For almost one month, not one of Channel Seven's viewers would have been able to escape the blanket promotion for My Kitchen Rules, and particularly the two contestants dubbed the Spice Girls.
It's classic television: cast well, promote well and watch the viewers flock. Monday's episode, in which the Spice Girls spectacularly flopped after declaring "No more boring dinners" and dismissing their competitors' food, attracted a record audience of 2.2 million viewers for a regular season episode.
Not since last year's Gary and Peter (dubbed Dr Evil for his caustic assessments of rival teams' food and his arguably inflated opinions of his own food) has there been a team that viewers have loved to hate so much.
But unlike Gary and Peter, Jessie and Biswa could not walk the walk after so much talking the talk. They claimed they would be the first team in My Kitchen Rules to score perfect 10s.
But they crashed back to earth – and how. Jessie and Biswa scored just 41 points out of a possible 110, with their three-course Indian feast – comprising pani puri, lamb samosa and yoghurt lassi, goat sindhi biryani for a main course and a dessert of galub jamun – leaving judges Pete Evans and Manu Feildel cold.
"When you can get a piece of the galub jamun without the yoghurt, it's good ... to say it was inedible would probably be the correct term," Evans said.
Biswa admitted the dessert was not usually served with yoghurt , saying she had "ruined it ... It was the worst dessert ever."
Fellow contestants, who had been on the receiving end of the Spice Girls' criticism, relished the opportunity to put the boot in.
"The food was just no good," said South Australian contestant Stefano.
"The whole mood of the night, the whole package – nothing was great," said Queenslander Elle.
"This is a great, big reality check for these two girls who had been such hard critics," said Tasmanian Mick. "It'll be interesting to see them from now on, how they critique other peoples' food."
By meal's end, the Spice Girls were wanting their fellow contestants and the judges to rate them not on the taste and execution of the meal, but on the effort they had put in.
Jessie and Biswa had been broadly criticised for being overly fussy (they don't like eggplant, capsicum, chocolate or tomato) and their rude manners (they laughingly said they could not finish dishes).
Of course, with the season well in the can before the first episode aired, the Seven Network's promotions staff knew they had a lot of material to work with about Jessie and Biswa.
The question is whether Queensland siblings Jake and Elle, who cook on Tuesday's episode, will also fail in light of Jake's claim that "when it comes to food, we pretty much know everything".
Dr Evil junior, your time starts now.