Pay TV: Wednesday, December 19
Gene Simmons Family Jewels.
Gene Simmons Family Jewels, Bio, 8.30pm
GLAM-rock titan Gene Simmons seems to enjoy being the butt of the joke in his cheerful family reality series. His partner, Shannon, and kids, Nick and Sophie, relentlessly take the mickey out of him, and he even allows himself to be filmed shuffling around in his daggy one-piece pyjama suits. In the first of tonight's three (!) episodes, Shannon decides she's finally had enough of his snoring and drags him to a sleep clinic. Filling out the pre-admission survey gives her the chance to zing him yet again: '''How many times do you urinate each night?' Twice. Once in your onesies and once on the floor by the toilet.''
But Gene isn't the only one with sleep-related problems. Shannon is frustrated by someone leaving tubs of ice-cream out to melt on the kitchen bench overnight, only to learn she has been sleepwalking and sleep-eating. She's caught in the act by the camera crew that, we are supposed to believe, is employed to stake out her bedroom door overnight. Silly but fun.
Doomsday Preppers, National Geographic, 8.30pm
MORE Americans racing to stockpile food and guns in anticipation of various disasters. In California, vitamin magnate Bob doesn't let his daughters use the family swimming pool during the day because he doesn't want sunscreen in his emergency drinking water. In Pittsburgh, aspiring city councillor Josh is so worried about terrorism that he is thinking about moving to Israel.
Inside the Catch: Deckhands, Discovery, 8.30pm
Another Deadliest Catch behind-the-scenes special, this one looking at deckhands, who provide most of the muscle - and most of the casualties - on Alaskan crab boats.
The Santa Incident, Universal, 8.30pm
Telemovie in which Santa Claus is interrogated by Homeland Security agents after being shot down for flying through restricted military airspace.
Are You Being Served? Fox Classics, 6.30pm
Classic camp delivered direct from 1974.