Weekend free-to-air: March 16
Wild Things with host Dominic Monaghan.
Wild Things, ABC2, 7.30pm
Dominic Monaghan is clearly crazy. This is a man who approaches a spider that he knows will cause ''painful pre-death erections'', then pokes it with a stick. He is driven, we are told, by a passion for acting and wild creatures … and presumably a desire to stop being known as ''that guy from Lost'' or ''one of the other hobbits from The Lord of the Rings''. As such he arrives on our screens on a mission to confront, encounter and interact with the world's most dangerous animals - but not the ones you would expect. In tonight's episode, he is in the Ecuadorian Amazon hunting not jaguars, snakes or spiders … but army ants. Referred to as the kings of the jungle, these have been known to reduce cows to skeletons and force families out of villages. Now they have lured Monaghan to the Amazon, where he hopes to become their next meal. No, seriously. From the moment Monaghan tries the local cuisine - street food with a side of grubs - through to his playtime swimming in the Amazon, he is clearly a big kid. He loves the danger, the animals, and trying to get bitten.
Oscar Pistorius: What Really Happened?, ABC2, 8.30pm
If you don't know who Oscar Pistorius is by now, chances are you've been living under a rock. The South African athlete known as the Blade Runner for his flexible prosthetic legs has been one of the most succesful Paralympians in history and even competed against ''able-bodied'' athletes at world level. Then, on Valentine's Day, Pistorius was at home when he claims he heard an intruder, took a gun and fired through his bathroom door at what he thought was a home invader and killed his girlfriend, model Reeva Steenkamp. Since then, reports about the runner's dark side have emerged, with claims he has a history of violence, that he has threatened others and that there is more to the story. Pistorius has hit back, saying what he told the police is tragic, but true. And as the court case fast approaches, here we are, at the inevitable ''documentary'' trying to get to the truth. Leaving aside the fact this is perilously close to trial by media, the facts behind the case are fascinating and worth a look.
Prisoners of War, SBS One, 8.30pm
With pressure mounting, Nimrod quits his job.
Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries, ABC1, 9.20pm
In this final episode of season one, Phryne tracks an escaped prisoner.
Making of Attenborough's Africa, Channel Ten, 6.30pm
Behind the scenes of the wildlife series.
Midsomer Murders, ABC1, 8.30pm
It's the final of the series and just to prove that anything at all can kill you if you live in Midsomer, they've left one of the more bizarre deaths for last. Brace yourself - and no, I'm not making this up - Barnaby and Jones are called in to investigate when a woman is crushed to death by a lethal round of cheese. No, really, that's the storyline. As usual however, even the most bizarre death is treated as something that happens every day, so off they go and gather clues. What transpires is a suitably intriguing case of a woman caught in the midst of plans to modernise the dairy. But is that all? Probably not, given the fact other people connected to the project start shuffling off this mortal coil as well and the finale, when it comes, is suitably surprising. But a cheese? Really?
MasterChef: The Professionals, Channel Ten, 7.45pm
If you found yourself confused by the pros and cons of watching obese people publicly humbling themselves for our entertainment, why not add to the conflict by hanging around for this big finale and watch the experts prepare food guaranteed to blow a Biggest Loser contestant's weekly kilojoule allowance in a single sitting. I've been loving this series so I'll definitely be watching Matt, Marco and the final three through to the big, glittery, tearful end.
Downton Abbey, Channel Seven, 8.40pm
Deep breath, pause, exhale. After last week's brutal and shocking episode, it's something of a relief to settle into smoother waters for the sixth episode. Which is not to say Sybil's death has been forgotten. Far from it. Indeed, what elevates this tremendous show, which, regrettably, has become easy to dismiss as an overheated soap opera, is the way writer Julian Fellowes mines such potent drama from otherwise well-worn topics. The repercussions are felt throughout the house - even by the usually stone-hearted O'Brien and Thomas.
The Mentalist, Channel Nine, 8.30pm
One of Red John's helpers resurfaces asking for help.