What the gossip mags say ...
Pot calling the kettle fat ... Kelly Osbourne. Photo: AFP
FAMOUS magazine was fuller than a fat lady's sock with unflattering photos of celebrities who have stacked on a few kilos. But of course they didn't dare call the stars chubby because they were ''celebrating their curves!'' Katie Perry all muddy and make-up free in Hawaii had a ''shapelier look,'' Reese
Witherspoon on the beach was putting ''family before figure'' and Heidi Klum, who looked like she may have gained a massive four grams, is ''happy with her curves''. We're sure experts find the best way to celebrate positive body image issues is to show celebrities in the most unflattering paparazzi photos possible. They also reported that when Kelly Osbourne mused that maybe Lady Gaga's weight gain was due to being up the duff, Gaga's 32 million Twitter followers turned into attack dogs telling Osbourne to die and that she looks like she has AIDS. Gaga (pictured, with her nemesis, Osbourne, on the left) responded with an open letter to Osbourne about her bullying. That's the pot calling the kettle fat. And really Twitter and open letters - doesn't anyone just pick up the phone anymore? Over at Woman's Day it was a more heartfelt celebration of beach babes with Aussie celebs in their 40s through to 80s sharing their body confidence tips: A 40-year-old Liz Ellis claims she threw out the bathroom scales and any full-length mirror in her house to improve her body image; a 50-year-old Lisa Curry was flogging her new 10-week get fit plan, while 64-year-old Denise Drysdale, who was posing in a one-piece, laughingly complained about being mistaken for Miranda Kerr all the time. A fun read if only you didn't turn the page to see the pregnant Duchess of Cambridge ''first bump pics'' - revealing a stomach that is as flat as a pancake. Oh well, at least they're trying. Speaking of Miranda, Who magazine focused on Kerr and Orlando Bloom's marriage amid rumours the couple are about to split. At the G'Day USA party Kerr apparently said that the keys to a successful marriage were ''communication, honesty …'' - and after being prompted by her publicist, she added ''patience''. New Idea had Ellen DeGeneres confessing a big secret. But after reading the article we're still not sure what it is. Apparently she was scared she'd lose her fame and riches but didn't so she's happy. Maybe we need a publicist to explain it to us.