Condescension, thy name is Canberra
I'm not sure which one is Rudd.
My "Condescension, thy name is Canberra" Award this week is a three-way tie between Julia Gillard, Greg Combet and Brendan O'Connor, who've all stooped from Mount Hubris to remind us that leading our country is not a reality TV show or any other form of popularity contest - otherwise pop star Kylie Minogue might be running the country.
Thanks for clarifying that.
Gillard kicked it off on Friday in Adelaide, cutting through the confusion by saying: "This is not an episode of Celebrity Big Brother, it's about who should be prime minister."
Federal climate change minister Greg Combet chimed in Saturday to state he didn't "believe the Labor leadership or the prime ministership is to be treated like a revolving door. It is not an episode of Australian idol."
The trifecta came up Sunday morning when Human Services Minister Brendan O'Connor reminded us the Labor leadership is not a celebrity poll and if it were, pop star Kylie Minogue could end up running the country.
I tell ya, every time I'm about to get well and truly sick of Kevin Rudd's two-year-long temper tantrum, someone on Mount Hubris reminds me just how out of touch much of the Labour Caucus is and how they'll happily convince you piss is Perrier depending on the day.
Tell me Brendan, Greg, and Ms Gillard; if the ballot for the Labor leadership is not a celebrity poll why the hell did you get rid of Rudd 20 months ago?
The rationalisation since has been, as O'Connor repeated Sunday, that it was "about who should lead the nation. Getting things done and doing things in the nation's interest is not always immediately popular but it's very important."
And I thought it was about Kevin Rudd's plunging opinion polls back in 2010 when you cut his throat?
Since then we've had all the words in the world telling us what a hard man Rudd was to work for, that he was a nightmare boss, but you know what?
WE DON'T CARE.
We have nightmare bosses out here in the real world and we don't get to sack them when they drive us batshit.
We don't get paid $300K like ministers do either (plus allowances!)
We don't have any of your power or influence, except for one itty bitty thing: our vote.
And you ignored this, you took it away from us back in 2010 when you sacked a democratically elected Prime Minister - in a process some might uncharitably liken to a popularity contest - and we haven't forgotten that.
(And yes, I understand Australia votes under the Westminster system and that "the public does not vote for the prime minister" but a representative for their electorate. However, I assure you the majority of the public don't see it that way. They vote for a representative for their electorate based on who will be PM.)
As for all the nasty crap Rudd has allegedly pulled since his sacking? Well, I reckon many voters can't help put themselves in his shoes, because most of us know what it's like to be backstabbed at work by some sneaky, ambitious bumcrawler.
We also know we'd love to have the power to get even with said backstabber if we could. Usually we can't, however, now we get to watch as Kevin does.
Some might say politics is nothing but institutionalised wish fufilment. It's certainly true with this revenge drama.