nobledeeds353

What's to miss?

I have the soul of a housewife.

Some people might find that condescending and if you're one of them, go suck on some Shower Power and feel free to grovel at my front door when you've run out of tinned tomatoes because I have a dozen cans in my cupboard.

I make an awesome housewife. I never mix white clothes with colours, I find washing dishes therapeutic and I work a supermarket aisle with a toddler under my arm better than Adam Goodes does the SCG boundary line.

I never run out of milk or toilet paper. I pay bills (almost) on time and can vacuum and text simultaneously. I adore Monday mornings because you go to work and I fold the washing and watch the NFL live from the US.

Having been a stay-at-home dad for three years now, it amazes me how keen some parents are to get back to work after childbirth, even when their other half's wage can adequately support the family.

Given, these people probably have higher levels of ambition than me, but I can't think of one thing I miss about working full-time in an office except, perhaps, Cabcharges and reading the newspapers in the dunny on someone else's dime.

Granted, I do feel a twinge of guilt that I should be working harder when I'm at the beach on a Wednesday morning with my daughter. Then I realise being able to spend mornings at the beach with your child is exactly why most people work hard.

I guess others do it for material possessions and power. They might as well stop reading this column, you're lost to me, the rest of this'll just make you feel angry or superior.

As for critics who suggest "I'm perpetuating a stereotype that stay-at-home parents lack ambition", have another sip of Shower Power. I'm talking about my own drives and experiences here - not passing judgment on anybody else, so please leave your barrow at the door to the All Men Are Liars beach house.

What I can say with absolute certainty is, having experienced the gamut of menial labour to management, as well as creative work and number crunching, I can't think of one job as important or that gives me more joy than raising my daughter, washing her clothes, feeding her, guiding her.

The writer Dorothy Dinnerstein made the observation some years ago many dads were opting for "home-making" because "the world of public events ... is getting so lethal it's really hard to look at it uncritically if you are reasonably intelligent and sensitive".

Being at least one of those things, I can see she's not suggesting people are killing each other in the workplace (except in the US) but that the professional world has become such a brutal, competitive arena, scrubbing the shower stall and hitting the park with your kid can be a rather relaxing alternative.

Some of us just don't thrive in the cut-and-thrust of office politics, thus why I have the soul of a housewife. I see as much value in what I do for my child, in our home, as anything I'll achieve professionally.

Most of us want to know our labour is achieving something worthwhile and it's enormously clear to me something important is happening when I'm with my daughter, quietly showing her men can be loving, nurturing and do the ironing.

It always puzzles me when people say they need to return to the workplace for "stimulation" when they actually seem to mean "socially valued pre-occupation". Stimulation can be had for the price of a library card.

If you cut down on the amount of stuff you tell yourself you need, I reckon a lot of people would be surprised how much money is "enough".

Anyways, I've got dishes to do.

You can follow Sam on Twitter here. His email address is here.

Please don't take it personally if I do not reply to your email as they come in thick and fast depending on the topic. Please know, I appreciate you taking the time to write and comment and would offer mummy hugs to all.