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A lengthy discussion

Date

Man Scape

A journalist for 20 years and a man for longer, Richard Hughes would never, ever use canned shaving foam.

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Is there a line that no red-blooded Australian male would dare to cross?

Is there a line that no red-blooded Australian male would dare to cross?

More and more men are turning to surgery to enhance what they've lost, or maybe never had.

And as more of us do it, it becomes more and more mainstream. A facelift or some fillers, replacement hair or a tummy tuck, it's all fairly run-of-the-mill stuff. What's more, most men these days are unafraid to come clean and admit they've had some "work".

Who would be brave enough to have a penis enlargement - and tell the tale? 

But who would be brave enough to have a penis enlargement - and tell the tale?

As anyone whose email account has insufficient filtering will tell you, getting "the size you and your partner will be satisfied with", is possible. For some there is a need, whether by accident or nature, to enhance what one has.

According to the website of Australia Plastic Surgery in Sydney the "reason why most patients want a penis enlargement is not that they feel the penis is too small when erect but that it's too short while at rest".

There are pumps that can help and, apparently, pills too. And there's also the surgeon's knife (or their syringe). The procedure involves some snipping and sewing and injecting of fat from elsewhere in the body into the penis to make it thicker, or longer or both. So for anyone who feels the need there are solutions and, if some recent data is to be believed, about 20,000 men had their manhood surgically maximised in 2010.

You can do a lot with statistics. Prove that the Earth is getting hotter. Prove that it's not. Probably prove that it's been flat all along. So a big pinch of salt is probably needed when looking at the data printed in the reputable British magazine The Economist recently.

The figures come from the International Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons and show the number of surgical and non-surgical-procedures - of all types - that were performed throughout the world in 2010. The US and Brazil are the world leaders, with about a million and a half operations each, though the Americans have far more ‘'non-surgical’’ procedures. They also, between them, account for almost a quarter of the world's plastic surgeons.
 
Australia is down the bottom for most of the statistics, with 140,000 procedures annually. We're on a par with Saudi Arabia, a similarly sized country but one with very different cultural rules on the display of enhanced (or unenhanced) flesh.

The numbers are also divided by type of operation - and it was there I noticed the figures that hit me like a train. The ''male procedure'' numbers: 1965 Italians got an extension in 2010, 1380 Chinese, 1334 Frenchmen, 630 Britons, 106 Mexicans, 17 Canadians and - get this - not one Australian. Not a sausage.

In all more than 20,000 men across the world. But not one true-blue Aussie thought he needed to super-size it. So what does this prove? Are we a supremely confident nation, so well-endowed with nature's gifts that we need no intervention? Has no one ever complained? Or are there plane loads of us heading to Thailand or India for a surgical holiday? (Not something I'd recommend).

Maybe we're just too shy to ‘fess up to having had the operation. Certainly the has-he/hasn't he fuss about Shane Warne's face would make anyone wary of putting their hand up to more radical intervention. Or it could just be some anomaly in the data, some twist of statistics. Maybe there's some massaging of the figures. Sometimes it's not the size of the sample that matters, it's what you do with it…

What about you? Would you consider doing something to embiggen yourself. And would you tell all if you did?

78 comments so far

  • 20,000 out of 3.4 billion men (2009 population estimate) isn't that much

    Commenter
    Patrick
    Location
    Surry Hills
    Date and time
    May 17, 2012, 3:58PM
    • Interesting story, Richard.. I resisted the other common name .. (got a little twitchy with the photo though, as I reckon all men would with a scalpel near our precious)..
      never even had a thought about enhancement down there, and I'm nowhere near being called tripod, or any other similar names..however the process just never even occurred to me..
      well we wait to hear from the ladies..

      Commenter
      Bloke
      Date and time
      May 17, 2012, 4:02PM
      • This is what penises do normally.

        Mine is nothing much to look at when at rest but is of porn star proportions when erect.

        My point (ahem) is that nobody but me sees it in a somnolent state so who would risk the functionality of their tumescent turgid manhood when when really nobody takes their dozy todger for a walk in the park?

        Commenter
        Sirius Dog Star
        Location
        Orion
        Date and time
        May 17, 2012, 4:22PM
        • I'm not real keen on having some quack with a scalpel anywhere near my junk.

          Commenter
          uumlautstrohson
          Location
          Room 309
          Date and time
          May 17, 2012, 4:47PM
          • Its such a shame for these guys, i've always had trouble with mine, however after consulting many doctors, i was informed that reduction was not an option.

            Commenter
            Chad
            Location
            Hawthorn
            Date and time
            May 17, 2012, 4:48PM
            • Boomtish!!

              Commenter
              Mark
              Location
              Work
              Date and time
              May 17, 2012, 5:05PM
            • Sounds like the doctors were trying to tell you politely if it was made any smaller then you would be better off if you consulted a gynaecologist.

              Commenter
              Arthur McKenzie
              Location
              Canberra
              Date and time
              May 20, 2012, 11:07AM
          • Get what you're given and be grateful it works.

            Commenter
            James
            Location
            Melbourne
            Date and time
            May 17, 2012, 4:50PM
            • There are "show"ers and "grow"ers

              Just a fact of life and you have one or the other. the "show"ers end up as porn stars or underwear models..and the "grow"ers ....well ....they satisfy real women

              Commenter
              Jack
              Location
              Walking in the park
              Date and time
              May 17, 2012, 4:57PM
              • What if you're a show'er... and a grow'er!!!

                Commenter
                Shane
                Location
                Gippsland
                Date and time
                May 17, 2012, 5:29PM

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