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One day you're gonna get caught

Date

Stitched Up

Benjamen Judd looks at how clothes can make or break the modern day man.

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Briefs, boxers or commando?

Briefs, boxers or commando? Photo: iStock

Calvin Klein once said that there was something incredibly sexy about a woman wearing her boyfriend's t-shirt and underwear. I have a sneaking suspicion, however, that he wasn't talking about mine.

Of all the things that I take stock of when I'm buying clothes I have to admit to a certain level of neglect when it comes to undies. The fact I might need to invest in (several) new pairs just never seems to register in my awareness when I'm in the midst of a consumer-driven frenzy.

However, my priorities changed recently when I found myself being escorted up the fire escape to my apartment by a lovely young work experience girl from the real estate agent downstairs. Somehow, I managed to lock myself out wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts that were older than religion and had more holes than Swiss cheese. The penny dropped that updating my top drawer on a more regular basis might not be such a bad idea.

Ever since Marky Mark made a habit of dropping his dacks to show us all his Funky Bunch on stage, designers such as Calvin Klein, Armani and even locals brands such as AussieBum have turned their focus on selling the sex appeal of jocks. That's as opposed to their actual function, which is very unsexy - from providing basic support to preventing chaffing and even stopping a There's Something About Mary-style testicular mishap.

Personally, I find the idea that men's underwear can be seen as visually appealing rather amusing. Then again, I can't say that I'm all that titillated by women's underwear either because, if we're being honest, the appeal for me is not about the underwear but what's it's covering.

Are men's undies really as erotic and essential to the art of seduction as all those Photoshopped bulges on billboards would have us believe?

Not according to sexologist and sex therapist Amanda Robb, who says a bloke's jocks are not something women consider when it comes to sex appeal.

“Definitely not,” Robb says. "As much as I think women are partial to attractive underwear on men as much as men appreciate sexy lingerie on women, it's nowhere as near a focal point when it comes to sexual allure.

"The appreciation and appeal doesn't lie in the actual brand, shape or style of the underwear itself, but in the confidence, effort and thought behind wearing them in order to please a partner.”

However, there are apparently several styles that the average male should steer clear of when it comes to choosing man lingerie. “No animal print, ever,” explains Robb. “And g-strings should probably be left to strippers at a hen's night. Even then it's questionable. ”

At the end of the day, making sure that your briefs, boxers or boxer-briefs are in acceptable working condition is probably the easiest task you'll have when keeping your wardrobe well maintained. It's also a simple way to show that you take a little pride in your appearance, and are capable of taking care of yourself.

I may never achieve the sort of languid sexual suggestiveness that those male underwear models on billboards seems to have in abundance. But at least I'll be able to hold my head held a little higher the next time I'm caught with my pants down.

Have you ever been caught sans pants? What importance do you place on wearing "good" undies?

15 comments

  • How would Calvin Klein know? He's got a boyfriend ...

    Commenter
    greenpea
    Location
    sydney
    Date and time
    November 22, 2013, 11:25AM
    • he only wants stupid girls to buy his overpriced undies and think they look sexy.,in them,you know like Ive got a trendy boyfriend who isnt gay.

      Commenter
      Kane
      Date and time
      November 22, 2013, 12:11PM
    • @kane - you don't make no sense. Are you saying that guys who wear Calvin Klein underwear are not gay? I think you're missing their target audience. Or are you trying to say that girls who buy their boyfriend's underwear for whatever reason (most likely because he needs a few new pairs like the author) are idiots...either way, you're being kinda of a clueless knob.

      Commenter
      que?
      Location
      Perth
      Date and time
      November 22, 2013, 12:21PM
  • I joined an "Underwear Club" where for $22 a month, a new pair of undies is sent to me every month. All kinds of brands, I just had to specify size and type (boxer, brief or boxer brief). Best decision I've made in that regard as previously my undies would be worn well past their deaths because I hate shopping. Now I just need a monthly beer delivery service and I'll never have to leave the house or put pants on again!

    Commenter
    Buffybot
    Location
    Sydney
    Date and time
    November 22, 2013, 12:32PM
    • Let me get this straight. You only wear one pair of undies for a whole month, they send you a new pair, and off you go again for a whole month.

      Commenter
      insomniac
      Date and time
      November 22, 2013, 1:11PM
    • Ha ha. That would be stanky. The undies last more than a month and I did have a collection already to interchange with. Plus we have this big machine in the laundry that we put all our clothes in, turn on and they come back clean. You should get one. They're fantastic!

      Commenter
      Buffybot
      Date and time
      November 22, 2013, 5:36PM
    • I hope you're joking...why not pick up a multi pack of underwear at the supermarket?

      Commenter
      seriously?
      Date and time
      November 23, 2013, 1:35AM
  • go commando.

    Commenter
    simon
    Location
    sydney
    Date and time
    November 22, 2013, 1:00PM
    • I've never worn boxers or pyjamas. They serve no purpose whatsoever. I wear clothes until I get into bed {isn't a sheet a toga without a knot?} and am not in the habit of dropping my daks in public. {nor do I wear my trousers half way down my bum to pretend I'm in prison and have had my belt removed so as not to hang myself which is what I actually feel like doing when I see idiots displaying grubby jocks with holes in them sticking out of their pants}

      Commenter
      mutt
      Date and time
      November 22, 2013, 1:08PM
      • Men and women should always enjoy taking off each others clothes, including underwear. However it is sometimes better to keep some clothes on, because it is naughtier to be indecently exposed than to be completely naked. Cup-less corsets and open-crotch underwear do not have to be removed. I like a lady to lower my briefs very slowly. I prefer men and women to dress parts of their bodies in sexy clothes, including sexy shoes or boots, for sexual intercourse.

        Commenter
        David
        Location
        Canada
        Date and time
        November 22, 2013, 2:10PM

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