Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are walking towards their usual park bench. It's mid-morning, midweek. They stop in front of it, perplexed.

Signs have been placed at the front, back and sides of the bench. They all convey the same message:

IN THE INTERESTS
OF ALL WHO SIT
ON IT, THIS BENCH
NO LONGER EXISTS.

Rosencrantz: Well, this is curious strange Guildenstern. This is the bench upon which we sat yesterday is it not?

Guildenstern: I believe so. And the day before yesterday, and the day before that and the one preceding the other, too. But then the signs . . .

Rosencrantz: Yes, the signs, but let us get our bearings. They are the same trees that surrounded the bench yesterday. It sits upon the same small hill as yesterday. It looks down upon the same small pond as yesterday. Why even the ducks look familiar. It is, by its positioning, the bench that existed yesterday.

Guildenstern: But the signs . . .

Rosencrantz: What do your eyes see?

Guildenstern: They see the bench and the signs. And the signs look very important and official. Look at the lettering. Who would do that and not want to be taken notice of?

Rosencrantz: I grant you it does look meaningful . . . in a meaningless way. I ask you Guildenstern are we not the people who sit upon the bench. What have we been sitting on if we believe the sign? We can't have been sitting on something one day and nothing the next. How can we be both included and excluded? We are not transmigratory souls, not yet at least. It doesn't seem real at all.

Guildenstern: Yet both exist. (He walks closer and kicks the sign). Owww. Yes, it's there.

Rosencrantz: It's a wonder there isn't another sign that says, 'Do not kick this sign'. How's your foot?

Guildenstern: The pain seems real enough.

Rosencrantz: Mind over matter friend. Pretend it's not there.

Guildenstern: Thank you (rubbing his big toe).

Rosencrantz: Let's look at this logically.

Guildenstern: Agreed (still rubbing his toe).

Rosencrantz: First, the bench exists. Second, we, who sit on the bench, exist. Third, the signs exist. Fourth, the message on the signs exist. These are all indisputable, from our point of view. Now, if the dictum on No. 4 were to be true, then No.1 would be untrue. Not only that, but part of our existence would also be untrue, per No. 2. We would have been rendered outside our own zone.

Guildenstern: For our own good.

Rosencrantz: Yes, according to the sign. For our own good, the bench upon which we sit no longer exists.

Guildenstern: But we liked our bench. I enjoyed sitting on it and passing the time, taking in the air and scenery. It felt like home away from home.

Rosencrantz: Not any more apparently.

Guildenstern: What if we were to ignore the sign and simply sit there anyway? We could be outcasts, cut adrift from society.

Rosencrantz: In officialdom eyes, we would not exist, since the bench does not exist.

Guildenstern: My brain hurts.

Rosencrantz: I'll make it simple friend. You see certain people need this bench to appear to not be here so that it continues to be exactly as it ever was and ever will be. Apparently, others may have wanted to use it.

Guildenstern: But that's what benches are for. As much as I love this bench, I don't mind other types coming along and sitting on it. That's what I'd call a good use of a bench.

Rosencrantz: Not any more. Not any more.

Guildenstern: I wish I was a bird.

Rosencrantz: A bird? Why so?

Guildenstern: So that I could migrate to another shore.

Rosencrantz: Shall we walk down to the pond?

Guildenstern: Yes, I can ask the ducks for directions.