Heckler

Heckler

Hey mum, push that pram, not your luck

Prams.

Heckler I'M A young woman, possessing all the general social skills needed to smoothly navigate my way through life. I'm polite, I'm thoughtful and understanding, I'm interpersonal and I have commonsense.

Heckler

It's a fest erring sore

The cutting room floor.

Heckler ANOTHER Tropfester, another lot of arty-farty claptrap dominated by bloody movie professionals with budgets.

Heckler

Call that a heckle?

Heckler I'M ALARMED to see what passes for a heckle these days.

Heckler

Ruled by the little princesses

Heckler YOU would have thought Ian Freeman's Tuesday heckle covered just about every annoyance known to man. Perhaps he was simply leaving one of the great bugbears for another to tackle.

Heckler

House for lease: no students

Simon Letch illustration

Heckler ''NO, YOUR application wasn't successful.'' The voice is crisp, hurried and edged with scorn. I venture to ask the reason why. "The owner doesn't want students, I'm afraid."

Heckler

Land of the free money, it's there for the taking

Heckler I HAVE lived in this wonderful country for the last 33 years, having arrived in Sydney from England at the age of 25.

Heckler

Honey in hair, bee in bonnet

Heckler I BELIEVE city driving should be banned. And brass plaques listing the names of dead aldermen … and bathrooms without steam extractors … and formalin-tasting gelato made with saccharin...

Heckler

The great Valentine's Day ripoff

Heckler VALENTINE'S DAY is upon us and I know many of you look forward to the deep joy it may bring you. But spare a thought for those of my generation.

Heckler

A bit of a blue over the colour red

Heckler THOSE of you with teenagers will know the meaning of omniscience. A wise man once said that when he was a child he thought his parents knew everything, on becoming a teenager he realised they knew...

Heckler

Shopper's ill-timed joke fell flat

Little boy covering his ears, sad, tantrum, naughty, angry.

Heckler ''SHUT up, kid.'' Who would have thought those three little words could have such an effect on my day?

Heckler

Toot much to ask for variations?

Heckler CLEARLY cars can be pimped with all sorts of bells and whistles these days, but the horn remains as a bog-standard given.

Heckler

Baby, don't take your love online

Looking for online love.

Heckler I WAS rejected by an online dating site. Yes, you read that correctly - the site rejected me before I even got to the dating stage. I didn't even know this could happen.

Heckler

Cairo-style policing in Hyde Park

police

Heckler WHAT did the police think they were doing in Hyde Park on Sunday? There had just been a very well-organised rally of Egyptian Australians supporting the democracy movement in their homeland.

Heckler

Bedevilled by a fruit of the gods

Heckler AVOCADOS are a snare and a delusion. They present as the ideal fruit - green, firm, perfectly formed - ideal for any occasion that calls for exquisite cuisine.

Heckler

These kilos are making me fed up

Generic pic of a woman pinching fat at her waist.

Heckler NO, I'M not big boned. I'm fat. There's nothing else for it.

The silent threat that bites at night

Heckler YOU might think those of us with a hearing deficit have an advantage because we're not troubled by sounds that irritate others. Mosquitoes for example. I can assure you this is not always the case.

Heckler

The '60s - through a glass madly

Heckler HOW odd. Last Thursday's Heckler on how men should ''take the lead'' in relationships came the same day Germaine Greer got her own postage stamp.

Heckler

I should never have believed the bank

Heckler MAYBE when a large bank promised it was ''determined to be different'' and specifically ''to fix problems faster'', I shouldn't have been so quick to believe.

Heckler

Frustration is all part of the package

Heckler THE tab on the side of the box says ''Lift to open''. I should be so lucky. If they were honest, it would say ''Lift to remove tab'', or ''Lift to deface packaging''.

Benefit of BBQ not so clean-cut

snag

Heckler BACKYARD bliss? Enough is enough. Next time you are groping around for a metaphor for materialism, conspicuous consumption and inappropriate over-design, grope no more: just use the modern gas-fired,...