Australians come from Australia, right?
Pretty obviously then, Canadians must come from Canad-ia.
Tony Abbott has been having something of a linguistic outing as he rockets across the world. You needed only to listen in as he chatted merrily to schoolchildren in Villers-Bretonneux in northern France a few days ago.
Tony Abbott, left, is greeted by Pierre Poilievre, a Canadian minister, at Ottawa airport. Photo: Andrew Meares
''Bon-jewer,'' he cried.
''Je m'apelle Antoine, from Australie.''
It was a brave effort, even if it was Manglish.
Digging a big hole at the Australian High Commissioner's residence in Ottawa. Photo: Andrew Meares
''C'est Premiere Australie,'' Abbott tried, or something loosely resembling it. Getting no response or even a vague sign the French kiddies had any idea what he might have been talking about, or in what language, the Australian Premier pressed on: ''Premier, Australee - mwaa. Set mwaa, wee?''
If there was something lost in the translation, and the pronunciation, to say nothing of the grammatical construction, it mattered not. The Australian Premier was doing his best, wasn't he?
Not quite, it turns out.
He was saving his best for Canadians.
Touching down in Ottawa, a city that is officially bilingual for municipal business, where 37 per cent of the population speaks both English and French fluently, Abbott could comfortably have stuck to English or even tried out a little of his newfound ability with French.
Instead, he introduced, for the briefest of moments, a language previously unknown: a language that re-names that rather largish pink bit on the map above the United States.
It mightn't have mattered if Mr Abbott had been in, say, Botswana at the time. But he was actually standing in the capital of that pink bit on the map.
And he called it Canadia.
Asked about Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper's recent condemnation of Russian policy in Ukraine, Mr Abbott declared: "They're very forthright remarks, and I think that they're perfectly appropriate remarks for the Canadian Prime Minister to make. Canad-ia [and for a beat, you could very nearly hear the 'uh oh' as the cogs turned] Canada, probably has more involvement in the affairs of Europe than Australia often does, but ..."
Blame it on jet lag. It's been so bad Mr Abbott appeared to nod off altogether while attending the D-Day commemorations in France, the translation of proceedings plugged into his ear.
Or perhaps, on those long legs between the continents, he's been reading The Adventures of Barry McKenzie.