They met to talk about professional development and explore issues such as presentation skills, time management and what life might hold after politics.

But the issue that dominated conversations, was why aren't there more women in parliament? And more to the point, why is progress on this front so painstakingly slow?

Feminist writer and academic Eva Cox turned up to a panel discussion brandishing a book she wrote 20 years ago about the problem. Waving it around in frustration, she declared nothing had changed.

If anything, when it comes to female representation, Australia is going backwards.

In 2001, Australia ranked 20th worldwide in an Inter-Parliamentary Union league table for female representation in national parliaments. In 2008, we ranked 32nd. Today, we rank 42nd, in between the Philippines and Iraq, with female MPs making up 27 per cent of lower house spots and 38 per cent in the Senate.

In absolute terms, while numbers of women in all Australian parliaments rose between 1994 and 2009 – peaking at 30 per cent, they have since dropped. As of 2013, they had only recovered to 29 per cent.

And no one could have missed the fact that women in Australia's current federal cabinet are somewhere between a rarity and an exception to the rule. A recent report shows Australia is the sixth worst in the OECD when it comes to a gender-balanced ministry.

This is what happens when there are only two female cabinet members. Out of 19.

Yes, the numbers for women are better in the Senate (where is it easier for women to get elected because parties preselect a group) and in the ALP (which has had a quota system). But overall, the sad state of affairs puts the "der!" in underwhelming.

So what's going on?

It's not as if female candidates are not as successful at winning votes. Research shows they do just as well – if not slightly better – than male peers when contesting elections. But they are finding it pretty bloody tough if they get to parliament.

Women for Election, a non-partisan body that aims to help women into public life, recently interviewed more than 50 female MPs from different levels of government across Australia. Between them, the politicians observed that politics, with its ridiculous work hours and travel requirements (even if you go via helicopter), is totally family un-friendly.

Beyond that, the culture is a massive turn-off. Female MPs interviewed talked of how they had to put up with bullying, tantrums and personal abuse as a regular feature of their workplaces, which they still perceived to be a "boys' club".

That, and there is "an unacceptable focus on women's appearance".

It may not surprise you to hear that the media – and its continued focus on the looks and family lives of female MPs – also came in for an almighty wallop during the conference discussions. "Stop writing stories about our hair!" came one plea. There is also the uncomfortable notion that different standards still apply. Whereas male politicians who speak up are seen as "ambitious". Women who do the same are "pushy" or "aggressive".

But even before all this, the eternal problem remains getting women through the starting gate. At the 2013 federal election, only 27 per cent of candidates were female.

In the Labor Party, the preselection problem has been helped by the quotas introduced in the 1990s, which mean that women now have to be preselected for 40 per cent of winnable seats. Next weekend, the ALP's national conference will debate whether this should be lifted to 50 per cent by 2020. Party insiders say there is a good chance it will get up.

The Q word is a controversial one on the other side of politics, however. While there are a few Liberal women who are in favour of quotas or non-binding targets, most Liberals see affirmative action as tokenism. Women, they say, should be promoted on "merit" (because we all know men are always promoted on merit in politics).

Advocates of quotas would shoot back that the practice has worked. More than 40 per cent of state and federal Labor MPs today are now women. And as Victorian Liberal MP Margaret Fitzherbert has said, her party can no longer rely on "a blind faith in 'merit' to somehow provide a sudden increase in numbers of female MPs". If not quotas – something else needs to be changed.

Liberal preselection committees could start by stopping the reportedly "routine" practice of asking aspiring female candidates how they will juggle work and family life. As Fitzherbert noted in a 2013 lecture, this would be illegal in a job interview.

It seems funny that in the wake of Australia's first female prime minister, we are not talking about a revolution – or at least a new era – in terms of women in politics. Instead, the debate is about how things have slid backwards or stalled.

Some female MPs lament that many of their male colleagues still see female representation as a "women's issue", for the girls to solve.

This is somewhere between worrying and face-palm worthy – and not just because women need a fair shake of the parliamentary sauce bottle. The diversity of political ideas and outcomes suffer when the gender mix is lopsided. There is a reason why gender balanced boards perform better than those who aren't. The same logic applies to parliaments and cabinets.

Ultimately, the number of women in parliament is about the quality of our politics. How can that possibly just be a "chick thing"?