HECKLER

<em>Illustration: Caroline Adaszynski</em>

Illustration: Caroline Adaszynski

I HATE dumpers. I've never liked them. Who does? The other day, however, they went too far. I was disgusted. Disdain of dumpers escalated to hate. In the park opposite where I live, I walked past two large boxes that had been dumped there. I hesitantly peeked inside and saw that they were both full of dead chickens. What the? Who? Why?

But this dumping wasn't as simple as pulling up in a car and placing said expired chooks on the verge. They weren't lazy dumpers, no; they took them half way across the park before dumping them. A little further and they could have thrown them in the creek so I guess they weren't strong, fit dumpers. A week before the chickens, there was a large TV set plopped on the verge.

But most of the dumpers around me seem to be pretty lazy as well as pretty dumb. Walking along the paths and creeks near where I live, there are several old kitchen ovens lying just metres from back fences alongside the creek's edge. Now, I'm pretty confident that someone didn't carry these ovens the 300 metres or so from the closest access road.

Then there's the dopey dumper who decided to throw their old kitchen in bits and pieces over their back fence. I wonder who could have done that.

I could be wrong but I don't think I'm living in a mediaeval village where I, along with the rest of the villagers, just throw refuse and effluent out the window and front door because my village doesn't have garbage collection, sewerage connection or recycling services.

Sadly, we seem to live alongside many simple mediaeval peasant types. Every day I see a city whose streets and parks are littered with mattresses, garden refuse, TV sets, car batteries, and bags of who knows what else.

For me, the dead flock of chickens dumped practically on my front door was the last straw. Dumpers are vandals, with no respect for the environment or the community they inhabit. And they're lazy.

The dumping has been duly reported. The chickens have been collected. I keep wondering if my alleged dumpers have had their houses raided by the Dumper Taskforce to see if they have new kitchen appliances. I fantasise we are actually living in mediaeval Europe, so they can be tortured mediaeval-style until they confess their heretic dumping ways. Meanwhile, mediaeval revivalist dumper types continue to live among us.

Glen op den Brouw