Standing behind her partner, Tim Mathieson, as he addressed the West Indian cricket team about the importance of prostate checks, Julia Gillard was already wearing a mask of neutral concentration.

Then, when he made the ''small'', ''female,'' ''Asian'' trifecta, the prime ministerial expression did not budge. For a millisecond, you could almost see her brain register the comment (For the love of all that is atheistically holy!), but Gillard stood there, unmoved.

Unfortunately, while the PM tried to pretend the joke did not exist, the sound of people slapping their foreheads echoed across the land.

Tony Abbott (demonstrating his reacting skills) called for Gillard to ''deal'' with the matter ''personally''. MPs from both sides of the canyon lined up to deem the comment in bad taste. And prostate experts chimed in to describe it as ''unhelpful'' to the cause. Before morning tea on Tuesday, Mathieson issued an apology.

Luckily for him, the bugle of condemnation did not linger, thanks to Gillard revealing the election date and Craig Thomson spending Thursday afternoon at the Wyong Court House.

And yet, as the country began to focus on other things, the episode highlighted what a tricky role Mathieson occupies. We don't often see him or know that much about him (beyond the fact he gave the PM a cavoodle). Indeed, he is really only thrust into the spotlight when he stuffs up. The rest of the time, he is regarded with something between scepticism and low-level mockery.

The mere fact that Mathieson is called the ''first bloke'' in quasi-official circumstances suggests that we don't really take his position seriously. And it is impossible to mention Mathieson without also mentioning that he used to cut hair for a living - as if this is really weird or hilarious. Or both.

In the 2011 comedy At Home With Julia, Tim was portrayed as a hapless dude who hung around the Lodge and was teased mercilessly by local kids while Julia was out running the country.

In real life, Mathieson is not presented much differently. As The Advertiser observed last November: ''When he's not running her bath, fetching the newspaper or blow-drying her hair, the Prime Minister's partner [is] often flopped on the couch at the Lodge watching her in Parliament.''

Even the stuff he does do in an official capacity is filed under questionable or quirky.

When he was appointed ambassador for men's health in 2008 (Gillard was still deputy PM), it was billed as ''controversial'' and both Kevin Rudd and Gillard were quizzed about his credentials. When he's with the PM overseas, it's often pointed out that he's the only male on the spouse program, a lone bloke left to talk hairdressing with the wives.

For three years, Mathieson has been a committed ambassador for Men's Sheds, but even that has an air of the joke about it. Articles describe him as ''tinkering'' or wearing a flanny. In their 2011 60 Minutes interview, Gillard laughed ''no girls allowed'' as Tim showed off his backyard domain.

Perhaps part of the awkwardness with Mathieson is not so much that he's a ''bloke'' but that he is a relative latecomer to Gillard's political life. They got together in 2006 - when she was already an established senior MP. He hasn't had the practice of all the school fetes over the years, and we don't have the familiarity. That, and there seems to be some sort of effort by the Prime Minister's office to keep him out of the public eye.

While he is widely regarded as a likeable guy and is devoted to several important causes, he is a noticeably less prominent figure than some of his predecessors. Therese Rein had a schedule and social media profile to rival her husband. Janette Howard was more behind the scenes, but she accompanied John throughout his career.

In many ways, Mathieson's job is not an enviable one. Unlike the United States, Australia does not have a defined role for the ''first spouse''. We assume that whoever has the gig will decide what they want to do with it. But this set-up becomes unfair when we feel like they aren't fulfilling the (non-existent) job description.

This is not to say that Mathieson is having a horrible time of it. Or that he is doing a horrible job. But next time we feel like slapping our foreheads or sniggering about our ''first bloke'', maybe we should take a leaf out of Gillard's book and react a little less.

Judith Ireland is a Canberra Times journalist.