IF YOU want to understand the concept of Straw Feminism, look no further than the piece on FoxNews.com by Suzanne Venker called ''The War on Men''.
Venker's image of feminism is the nightmarish menace that marches fulminatingly in the dark streets, illuminated only by the fitful light of a burning bra.
Feminism is the reason there are no Nice Men Who Will Marry You. You, young lady, were foolish enough to think you might manage to pursue your dreams and simultaneously get married and have children. That was your mistake. And that is why you are single.
Blame those terrible fire-breathing females in the 1970s who removed you from your proper place - above men, on a pedestal, where you should return as quickly as possible.
If such feminists exist, I have never seen one in the wild. But the myth is potent.
To understand what I mean, here are a few excerpts from Venker's piece:
''As the author of three books on the American family and its intersection with pop culture, I've spent 13 years examining social agendas as they pertain to sex, parenting, and gender roles. During this time, I've spoken with hundreds, if not thousands, of men and women. And in doing so, I've accidentally stumbled upon a subculture of men who've told me, in no uncertain terms, that they're never getting married. When I ask them why, the answer is always the same.
''Women aren't women any more.''
What a coincidence. In the past 13 years, I, too, have spoken with hundreds, if not thousands, of men and women. And I wasn't even writing a book about anything.
I have never, though, stumbled on a subculture of men who told me in no uncertain terms that they were never getting married because women weren't women any more. I did once run into a guy who'd seen The Crying Game and had to rethink a lot of things, but that was it.
But let us return to the article. She goes on:
''Men want to love women, not compete with them. They want to provide for and protect their families - it's in their DNA. But modern women won't let them.''
Nope. We won't. Men come home to their families with their earnings and offer to help with parenting, and women hit them with their own, much larger pay cheques and shout, ''HOW DARE YOU!'' And then the men very sadly crawl back to their caves. Every day we see this playing out in American households. Men hold doors open, and women slam them in their faces.
Also, I'm really not sure her description of DNA is scientifically accurate.
Back to the column:
''It's all so unfortunate - for women, not men. Feminism serves men very well: they can have sex at hello and even live with their girlfriends with no responsibilities whatsoever.''
Straw Feminists live in this land where someone can approach you and say ''Hello'' and suddenly you find yourself having sex with him. It is a magical place. Other denizens include unicorns and leprechauns. Also, I'm not sure that's what ''You had me at hello'' meant but, well - let's just keep going.
''Fortunately, there is good news: women have the power to turn everything around. All they have to do is surrender to their nature - their femininity - and let men surrender to theirs. If they do, marriageable men will come out of the woodwork.''
That's what feminism threatens, after all. It's the End of the Marriageable Men. It's a bunch of Angry Women yelling at men who are just trying to be nice, but men are now sick of being yelled at and so they are going to respond by not marrying anybody. See what you've done, Feminism?
In short, everybody get back to your quilting.
Alexandra Petri is an opinion blogger with the Washington Post.