For the record: I was never Team Edward, Team Jacob or Team Rob Pattinson. Ever.

The attraction went straight over my head. I am one of the few women in the world who hasn’t lost her shiz over the Cullen/Twi/Vamp pin-up. He’s a bit too pale, broody and flushed cheeked for my tastes and looks as though he isn’t too fond of shampoo or soap.

Something's happened though. In the aftermath of RobSten Gate, Pattinson has got his Clooney on. Sharp suits, subtle tan, Dean Martin hair – he’s popped out on the other side of heartache polished, buffed and with a whole new kind of swagger. 

He's had a break-over.

If you’re catching up: Pattinson’s long term girlfriend Kirsten Stewart (fellow Twi Vamp) cheated on him with Rupert Sanders, the director of her latest film, who also happened to be married with children. Rob found out via his publicist, who found out via the media, which means Pattinson learned about the cheating two minutes before the rest of the world. Not cool by anyone’s standards. Seriously uncool when you’re considered one of the Sexiest Men Alive. Emasculating, devastating and being played in a 24-hour loop on TV.

Pattinson went to ground at Reese Witherspoon’s ranch. Grew a beard, drank a tonne of whisky and in a few short days looked like an extra from a Nirvana film clip. Or a guy who had just had his heart broken. Then three weeks later he emerged Phoenix-like on the red carpet looking totally reborn. This was a taller, slimmer, sexier, stronger Pattinson. His outfit screamed: Take that Rupert! Suck it Kristen. Baby, I’m baaaack.

Breaking up might be hard on the heart but it can do great things for your appearance. Psychologists agree that rejection is one of the strongest motivators for reinvention. Pushing us to get up, dust ourselves off and hitch a ride to make-over town. Sometimes it’s subtle (Prince Charles) and other times it’s major like Rob or Our Nicole.

Look around your own circle of friends – look at yourself – there’ll be a break-over amongst you. What happened? Did you lose weight? Move cities? Cut your hair? Take up extreme sports? Something triggers when we go through massive life shifts and grief. Humans are hardwired to reject change and when it happens without forewarning we feel the rug pulled from beneath our feet. Then we free-fall. Healing often requires the aid of props and most commonly we lean on our outward appearance.

The other break-over from this A-List love saga appears to be the woman scorned – Liberty Ross. Rupert Sanders' wife and mother of his two kids has gone the way of Katie Holmes and abandoned her usual restrained wardrobe in favour of heels and dresses. She posted a picture of a soaring eagle on her blog this week sending a strong message via the image. Match that with a few nights out on the town and my money is on her not taking him back .

We all use clothes as armour when we’re hurting. It’s a subliminal form of protection, a way of making us feel good about ourselves when we really aren’t. It’s superficial but goodness it can be powerful. My Mum is a big believer in “putting deposits into your mental bank”. The theory is that little pieces of positive will eventually weed out the bad. That’s what a break-over is – a big, fat cheque that will slowly start to fill up the hole he or she left behind.

Whether Kirsten and Rob get back together will remain the subject of headlines for months to come but for now look to Pattinson as the poster boy for bouncing back. Stick him on your fridge and if you’re down, follow him toward the light.

One well-cut suit at a time.

Paula Joye is Editor of www.lifestyled.com.au or you follow her on Twitter and Facebook.