SCHMOOZE IT OR LOSE IT
Max May and Lara Bingle. Photo: Patrick Riviere
Fashion Week is a marathon not a sprint. Nearly 50 shows over five days and lots of pre-parties, after-parties, even parties-during-parties.
Most of the shows ran at least 40 minutes late. I think the designers should all work on a signature accessory - it's called a watch, people! Thankfully there were plenty of pop-up bars where you could prop-up between shows.
Convenience was the key, with the Mercedes-Benz Star Lounge, Peroni Bar and Keystone Canteen at the Overseas Passenger Terminal the most popular.
Across the road, the Madison-Grazia party at Bar 100 had a deserted nightclub feel - far from fabulous. Ksubi stayed appropriately grungy by holding their after-party at the Flinders Hotel, whereas Jayson Brunsdon went high-end with an exclusive party at the Ivy Pool Club - but I hear guests didn't stagger out of either venue until the wee hours.
Kirrily Johnston had drinks before her show at Neild Avenue, but VIPs in boothed areas and general admission people looking in made it feel a bit like a petting zoo.
MyCatwalk Launches Nowhere by Elin Kling was a pumping party in Double Bay, with R&B tunes spun by DJ Miami Blaq. While the girls shunned carbs, blokes were catered for with lots of beer at the Peroni Aperitivo event prior to the flagship Men's Show.
It tickled my fancy that a homeless guy snuck into the Johanna Johnson parade - apparently organisers thought he was an international fashion blogger. It gave me flashbacks of Zoolander : ''derelict''! I was disappointed Fernando Frisoni had to relocate his Masquerade Ball-themed after-party from the abandoned Stamford Plaza Hotel in Double Bay after it was alleged to be a squatter-run whorehouse.
But the Sir Stamford Hotel was suitably spooky, with Ecoya candles the size and shape of a woman's naked torso.
They were flown over from New Zealand but one lost a nipple in transit. Don't you hate it when that happens? The week felt like a month and thank god I'd had my flu shot with all the air-kissing. I also noticed that when fashionistas sneeze, it sounds as though they are saying ''Toni Maticevski''.
Shelly Horton is S editor-at-large and a regular on Channel Seven's Sunrise, The Morning Show and Weekend Sunrise