"After coming in from the cold and wet rain, correspondents will appreciate the gentle warming sensation this cleanser delivers"... and other Sandy survival tips.
Leave it to a certain vein of New Yorkers to make the best of a deadly storm. Where millions are bunkering down, hatches safely battened with food provisions, sandbags and torches at the ready, a small group of ever-intrepid media onlookers is covering Sandy in its own droll way.
Take New York magazine's unusual beauty column, Skin and Hair Tips for Sandy-Smacked Storm Chasers, which delivers a cosmetic shot to meteorological reporters.
The pampering-inclined, weather-ravaged reporter is advised, once the storm has passed, to reverse rain-wearied looks with a selection of eye creams, cleaners, creams and hair products.
"After coming in from the cold and wet rain, correspondents will appreciate the gentle warming sensation this cleanser delivers" writes New York about Boscia Detoxifying Black Cleanser.
Then there's the Ouidad Double Detangler: "Built for people with the curliest of hair, this double comb will gently undo any knots caused by gale-force winds."
Over at Global Grind, the accent is on fashion. Not just any fashion, but hurricane-ready, rain-coat heavy buys that would out-glam even the most demure weather girl.
Haute Hurricane: The Fashion Girl's Survival Kit For Hurricane Sandy sees a set of altogether fluffier takes on survival than your average khaki staples - scented candles, a pink LED torch, even wine glasses for making most of the wine "responsibly bought instead of bottled water.”
Then there are the tweets, as collated by Huffington Post, that confirm what many have always known (and are guaranteed to unleash a wave of eyeball-rolls): no natural event shall come between a style devotee and his or her comforts.
The Council of Fashion Designers of America’s @stevenkolb tweeted: “All about my blue @isaora rain jacket today. The contrasting grey diagonal zippers are storm proof style.”
W Magazine’s Jane Larkworthy, @WmagJane added: “Like a beauty lemming, did the requisite day-off face & hair mask. Sorry, @SergeNormant, but I can never leave a hair mask on long enuf.”
@LuckyMagazine walks the walk and talks the talk: "Having such a good hair day, too bad nobody will see it", while Christina Anderson, @Xtina_Anderson tweeted: "This calls for overalls. Maybe a bit of Jenny from the Block tread-style Manolo booties? Hard to say. #Sandy".
There is, it turns out, a fine sartorial line between those weathering the storm and those who are its public figureheads.
Andrew Bevan, @Bevansburg, tweeted: “I dont support governors wearing fleece zip-ups during emergency press conferences-Make me feel safe & wear a blazer-#Confidenceovercomfort”.
While the New York Times' @EricWilsonNYT, referencing the lookalike outfits in the meteorological world, wrote: “Hurricane Sandy fashion forecast: High chance of solid ties and LL Bean parkas on the Weather Channel”.
In any event, in dealing with die-hard Manhattanites, Bloomberg and co. have their work cut out for them. @KyleEditor sums it up in pure Sex and the City-style nonchalance: "i dont leave midtown".
The upbeat banter goes on - film recommendations, links to Netflix, book swapping, game ideas, manicure tips, Halloween outfit rehearsals. Instagram picture after Facebook update after Tumblr image of hurricane dinners, storm parties, washed out drinkers in darkened bars. A modern-day take on survival among those fortunate enough not to see the unbridled might of Sandy's angry eye.
And, as much as the borderline-inappropriate fluff may play its part in dulling her blow - humour being an indispensable tool in many a survival kit - there is a very real gravity behind the distraction of the light-hearted messages.
As a member of DKNY’s PR team, @dkny, tweeted: "Blowing out my hair. I want to look my best for #Sandy. Translation: Bored to tears but bored is better than scared!"