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Like a loser

I hate eating my own words but that sound you can hear is me, munching on a big bowl of O.P.I.N.I.O.N. Like anything you re-heat this dish is best served fresh. Second day it’s not particularly palatable. A bit dry, a little chalky – I’m washing it down with a large glass of Mea Culpa.

I wrote an open letter to Madonna early this year. In said missive, I emphatically, passionately and resolutely defended the Material Girl and her right to wear leotards, cartwheel across the stage and be sexy dammit. I based my argument on the sole fact that she is Madonna and I’ve loved her forever.

Perhaps I should have used a different measure because my feelings have changed considerably since I wrote that column. I almost want to hand in my lifetime membership to the Madonna Army. I can’t march to her tune anymore. At least not the one she’s currently whistling. Her actions in the last couple of weeks have made me cringe. Sad. Angry. She's forced me to devour past words and it’s not a sandwich - it’s a three course meal.

Entrée: The Boob

Did she really need to pull out her boob? It’s so 1998. For those of you catching up: Madonna exposed her breast whilst on stage in Istanbul. It wasn’t a wardrobe malfunction it was a deliberate “Look at me, Baby!” moment. Leotard and thigh high boots are one thing but revealing your bosom on stage in Turkey?!? What was she trying to achieve exactly? It’s disrespectful to the country and to her kids who are sitting backstage or at-home watching their Mum disrobe on YouTube. What about them? Piers Morgan tweeted: 'Most embarrassing, cringe-worthy, desperate moment in the history of music?' He called it too early because Madge backed up the boob with her bottom. Two nights later she pulled down her pants to reveal a g-string clad behind. There's no denying you could bounce a tennis ball to the moon off those Buns of Steel but it just ain’t sexy. Or necessary. It’s boring and predictable. I felt like I was watching one of those Garfield cats that stick on car windscreens and slowly slip down the glass as the sun melts the suction - an undignified end for a great character.

Main Course: The Gun

This is the part where she really lost me. Really. Lost. Me. The part where she marched onto the stage brandishing a pistol while her back-up singers toted machine guns. She held one to her head, pointed it at the audience, the drummer … Hahahahahaha. Not.

It’s a gun. You’re a mother. You should know better. What makes it worse is that the Scottish police requested that Madonna remove the prop guns from her performance out of respect for the laws and the massacre (Dunblane) that created them. She didn’t. 

I’m sure she'd argue civil liberty and some political/tedious/meaning to the act but all I see is an irresponsible and reckless grab for attention. The fact that she still hasn’t removed this element from her show in the wake of the Aurora massacre goes far beyond insensitivity and has zero to do with censorship. Madonna has either truly lost touch or is so obsessed with staying relevant that she’s forgotten all the good her power has achieved.

I’m certain that the young Madonna, the courageous Madonna would be shaking her head at this play.

Dessert: The Snub

She’s not coming to Australia. Again. Can’t be bothered. We’re too far away. We buy her songs, watch her movies and yet, she’s not coming. Off the back of guns and flesh-baring this seems trivial but really it kind of says it all. Madonna has lost sight what her fans truly want - her. Her at 53. The 2012 version. None of us expect a re-boot of Madonna from two decades ago. We’ll support you until you decide you’ve had enough because we love you.

I applaud how she's stopped her own ageing clock and redefined the 'women over 50' stereotypes. I bear no judgment about her right to surgery, fishnets and young men but this recent behaviour is ruining her greatness.

Madonna: you need to give the sexual shtick a rest. Please. Just put your boob and your bottom away. It’s boring now. You pioneered these moves back when it was something that could be pioneered. Now there’s a nipple on every channel on every television in every country. Leave it to The Snookis and rise above it.

With your clothes on.

Paula Joye is Editor of www.lifestyled.com.au or you follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

118 comments so far

  • Actually she is still a pioneer because she is setting the trend that older women can still retain their sex appeal.

    Commenter
    Jill
    Location
    psychedelia
    Date and time
    July 25, 2012, 10:33AM
    • Sorry - as an "older" woman, I don't aspire to that brand of sex appeal. It is exhibitionism and voyeuristic and tasteless. I don't know too many blokes that find her appealing anymore either... She borders on tacky now... shame really.

      Commenter
      Fruitcake
      Location
      Sydney
      Date and time
      July 25, 2012, 10:47AM
    • She's not setting a trend in that department. Cher did it 20 years ago and it's not sex appeal. Hellen Mirren or Michelle Pfeiffer... THAT'S real sex appeal and I'm a 28 year old male.

      Commenter
      Bucket
      Date and time
      July 25, 2012, 10:48AM
    • That implies that it's actually sexually appealing to someone... I'm not sure who.

      Commenter
      UJelly?
      Date and time
      July 25, 2012, 10:57AM
    • Sex appeal or just tacky and needy? She is a 50 year old woman.

      It's just sad and pathetic when people cling on so deparately to their celebrity status rather than those who grow old gracefully with dignity and class.

      Commenter
      LM
      Date and time
      July 25, 2012, 11:08AM
    • She's a pop star - she's supposed to be tacky, silly and shameless. That's her role as an entertainer. Expecting anything else from her is like watching a Rambo movie and expecting to learn about Buddhist philosophy.

      What constitutes as tasteless or tasteful are just impressions created from social brainwashing. It was less than a hundred years ago when young women showing their ankles was considered scandalous and vulgar.

      Commenter
      Jill
      Location
      psychedelia
      Date and time
      July 25, 2012, 11:14AM
    • Sex appeal? There are plenty of hot, older women around who can be role models. Madonna isn't one of them. Too much time at the gym; not enough at the dinner table.

      Commenter
      Jace
      Location
      Sydney
      Date and time
      July 25, 2012, 11:21AM
    • @ Fruitcake: APPLAUSE

      Couldn't have said it better myself

      Commenter
      Chanteuse
      Location
      Sydney
      Date and time
      July 25, 2012, 11:36AM
    • Regardless if she is 53 or 23, flashing guns and boobs, I don't feel is sexy at all. This type of hijinks only makes Madonna's shtick an entire lip-synched gimmick - no talent in that perfromance.

      Commenter
      Listener
      Location
      Sydney
      Date and time
      July 25, 2012, 12:20PM
    • Its called entertainment, get a grip! If you are seriously that offended shocked and appalled may I suggest you "turn off the radio"

      Commenter
      MDNA
      Location
      Melbourne
      Date and time
      July 25, 2012, 12:33PM

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