Not a good week for Melissa George.
Her anti-Australia, anti Home And Away tantrum went viral and straight into every media trainer's manual as an example of how not to behave in an interview. Ever.
If you’re catching up: the actress took great offence when Channel Seven’s Morning Show made reference to her tenure as Angel Parish on the long running soap, Home And Away. George appeared in over 300 episodes and won two Logies during her run. This is apparently something she’s not proud of because she threatened to walk off the set when the show mentioned it amongst a list of other career accolades.
In a subsequent interview she offered this as an explanation:
"I’m a really hard-working woman and people have to respect me for what I’ve done … my next call will be to Home And Away to ask them to pay me because nobody does more promotion for that f … ing show than me.”
The media and the public have been equally incensed and Melissa probably wishes she stayed in bed that morning. Three days after the incident, a slogan T-shirt appeared online with a picture of George above the missive "Angel Never Forget". They’ve sold like milkshakes at the Summer Bay diner. I feel they missed a real opportunity – the slogan could have read: “I’d rather be having a croissant and an espresso in Paris or walking my French bulldog in New York City".
I mean...you just don’t say stuff like that, Melissa. Not in Australia.
The rogue T-shirt got me thinking about scandal slogans and how much we love a celebrity meltdown/breakup/breakdown tee – it’s an entire industry. Cutting them down was tough ("Run Katie Run" and "I Slept With Tiger Too" almost made it), but here are my Top Five Scandal Slogans T-Shirts Of All Time.
5. Free Britney/Free Martha/Free Paris/Free Nicole/Free Lindsay
Have I left anyone out? In the last decade there have been more celebrities in jail than out. Makers of these shirts have made a lot of money from Lindsay Lohan – every time she pays the state a visit they change the font and colour making the old one vintage. I bet there are people who've collected the whole set.
4. Team Aniston/Team Jolie
Where were you the day Brad dumped Jen for Angie? The world was shocked when the Prince of America left his Princess for the Evil Queen. Everyone had an opinion, a conspiracy theory and a T-shirt. Were you Team Aniston or Team Jolie? Or perhaps you were a member of the small minority group that was Team Pitt?
“Don’t be fooled by the rocks that I got” - that little lyrical nugget also made its way on to a T-shirt but it was the film clip for the song, Jenny from the Block, from which the ‘Bennifer’ phenomenon sprang. For those who have lives: Jennifer Lopez was dating Ben Affleck and someone convinced her that it would be ironic if she parodied their relationship in a video clip. Ben Affleck must have been under her thumb because he agreed to the dumbass idea and appeared in the clip wearing a white bathrobe on a boat.
Years later, he parodied himself on Saturday Night Live wearing a 'Bennifer' tee.
2. Kristin Stewart is A Trampire
I'm sure editors of tabloid newspapers everywhere wished they’d come up with this headline first. The Kristin Stewart/Rob Pattinson cheating scandal spawned a slew of merchandise but none more fabulous than this wordplay. Confusing Kristin with Bella and Rob as Edward (as the Twi-Hard Army tend to do) this T-shirt was on the street faster than you can say ker-ching.
1. I ’m on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen
The Charlie Sheen meltdown spawned an entire cottage industry of slogan shirts with the Ma-Sheen quotes creating a list within this list. You couldn’t make this stuff up:
1. I’m sick of pretending that I’m not a total bitchin' rockstar from Mars!
2. Duh! Winning.
3. Bipolar? What does that even mean. I’m bi-winning.
4. I was banging seven-gram rocks, because that’s how I roll.
5. You can’t process me with a normal brain.