Maybe men aren't always ready to romp.

Maybe men aren't always ready to romp.

And I quote: “[men] should aspire to be virile, 'well-endowed' studs and always ready for sex.”

If last week’s blog flirtatiously thigh-grazed the notion not all men want sex all the time, this article in The Conversation from which that line is drawn embraces it so explicitly that many spin-off blog babies are possible.

First, there’s the idea researchers disagree about the frequency of male sexual thought. Then there’s the links between testosterone and sex drive, including how the hormone makes male fantasies way raunchier than the erotic imaginations of females.

The influence of social media on male sexual expression also gets a mention, which is interesting, considering this great read in The Atlantic about how Facebook is making us lonely (something I agree with by the way).

Yet the point I’m still most interested in is this persistent stereotype of males as hardcore hornbags. I am interested in this sticky, cross-generational, long established idea that the males of my species, including those sitting around me in my office as I write this for example, are punctuating their daily routines with really, really regular thoughts about sex.

Why does it persist? Is it true? Or, is it simply truer men are painted as slaves to their sexual desires because of the way our society values men, or has valued men; an evaluation that has everything to do with their progenitive capacity and little to do with anything else.

Personally, I find this strong association of maleness with randiness abhorrent and offensive, not least of all because it reduces fellows I’m fond of to hormone-addled sex-fiends – it reduces my father to little more than a sack of bones and potential boners for example. This is an unnerving and disturbing thought.

But it also throws up all sorts of inadequacy issues for men who don’t conform to this perpetually ready, bawdy-boy ideal. Guys who find they don’t think about sex every hour of every day of their waking lives. This gap between what is expected and what actually is breeds the kind of insecurity that leads to anger, frustration and gross self-doubt.

This, of course, can have a profound impact on romantic relationships. Females may feel the need to play-up their sexual appetite in order to match the assumed higher standard set by their male partners. Conversely, some blokes may need the feel to perform when they don’t want to for fear she won’t accept anything less than a sperm-shooting cowboy.

Of course, I am not male, and can only offer my observations. I can say that as member of the same species, I know I have a lot more to offer the world than sex. Though the female equivalent of the lascivious male runs along more emotional, touchy-feely lines, so I should be disavowing the idea I’m only as good as my feminine intuition.

So I’m interested to hear what our gentlemen readers have to say on the subject. Are you really as randy as everyone says you are? Do you groan for the wrong reasons every time you’re painted into the red, revved-up corner? Or do you agree that men think about, and want to have, sex an awful lot? Are you proud/happy/self-associated with the male sex-obsessed stereotype?

And to my fellow ladies – what say you? Have you paused to consider what this assumption says about your brothers, sons, fathers, friends and lovers? Do you agree or disagree? Why?

twitter  @katherinefeeney

tumblr  Tumblr

facebook  Facebook

kfeeney@fairfaxmedia.com.au

 

*COMMENTS BROKEN

Sorry guys, they're working on a fix... meantime, please email through and I'll publish for you!

Cheers,
Kate