Age is just a number. I've heard that a lot lately.
Sometimes I feel old. Very old. Ancient in fact. Like I've crammed ten lives into this one and I'm exhausted from it. Mentally, physically, emotionally exhausted.
Living out a real-life Days of our Lives episode will do that to you.
When I was a kid people described me as an "old soul". I never really understood that concept until I gave birth to a child with a similar disposition.
She is wise beyond her years. Not that I consider myself wise by any means. But as a child I related to "grown-up" topics because I was thrown into a grown-up world at a very early age.
But now? Hmmm, wise? No. I think I've dumbed it down enough to appeal to the masses.
As a child I found the company of adults more intellectually stimulating. I begged my grandfather to share his wisdom with me. I loved listening to his stories about the war and the Great Depression.
Haunting, mesmerising tales that captivated a wide-eyed innocent such as myself.
In my teens and as a young adult I found myself gravitating towards friendships with older people. Adults were smarter, more astute, in touch with the world - possibly because they had simply lived in it for longer.
My own age group seemed immature, shallow, fickle.
Adults offered insight and authority. I wanted to learn from them, to absorb their knowledge – and possibly save myself some heartache and mistakes along the way (clearly that was a f***ed up philosophy).
Now however, as I enter my late thirties, the tables seem to have turned, as I find myself drawn to a younger crowd.
A large portion of my friends are, in fact, in their twenties.
I am motivated by their conversation, by their savvy. I find them provoking, given their predisposition with the new and the trending. Not to mention their technological nous (of which I have none).
Is it fair to say the younger professional/educated adult brings a level of intrigue to a relationship, rather than the stale ideas and philosophies of an older counterpart?
Not that I'm writing off the elderly – everybody sit back down.
It's kind of like when you have to ask your nine-year-old about a popular iPhone app, because "they just know these things".
Furthermore, as an older single female my interaction with younger males has been surprising to say the least.
The younger man (also a book title if you were not aware, of which I have been told "I MUST read") usually doesn't have baggage, or an ex-wife, or children. Just hopes and dreams for the future.
I asked some males in-the-know what a fresh-faced, twenty-something might see in an older woman:
"Experience... and the ability to converse with substance and clarity," said the hopeful 23-year-old.
"There is no drama with older women. With younger girls there is always some kind of drama," said the 30-year-old, who had dated older women, of which I clearly wasn't one.
"Older women know what they want and are often more approachable," said the 38-year-old.
On the flip side, my female peers who have "a thing" for older men say they offer stability, are financially secure and established in their profession and have a greater self awareness.
Oh and something about grey hair. Yeah... I don't get it either.
Me? All I ask for is emotional maturity because dickheads come in every age, make, and model.